Jesus is Hope

Christians’ Weapon

2009-11-09T04:31:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1

The why Life of God’s children

Why do most Christians live a defeated life? Why do most of them move with their heads facing down? Why are they always in tears? Why most of them are not successful? Why most of them are always the first culprits to be retrenched in their places of work? Why do we find high statistics of divorce amongst Christians? Why most street kids found in our cities are of Christian family backgrounds? Why do most Christian churches are of improper structures; Christians worship in tents, schools and in their houses?

The big question is, why? It is the fact that the devil is playing hide and seek amongst the children of God. He is applying his tricks and is enjoying it. The devil is engaged in what we call, ‘Operation Visa Versa’. The devil is destroying the children of the living God and stealing what is destiny for them. He is exchanging the blessings prepared for God’s children with curses and evil things.

Ecclesiastes 10:5-7, “Here is an injustice I have seen in the world; an injustice caused by rulers. Stupid people are given positions of authority while the rich are ignored. I have seen slaves on horseback while noblemen go on foot like slaves.”

This scripture refers to Christians and non-Christians. Christians in this sense are those who are called the children of God; those who does His will and live by His word. It is clear from this scripture of the Ecclesiastes that; Christians are victims of the injustices of this world.
Christians are heirs to the things of God. Instead of inheriting what is for their Father God, they are subjected to all sorts of evils, attacks and sufferings. They are subjected to live a life of slavery. They live a miserable lifestyle. They live in poverty and in shame. They are laughing objects in their communities. They are always embarrassed and removed from top positions. They are ignored and surpassed in their societies. The enemy is enjoying seeing the children of God going through such pains. It makes him happy seeing Christians failing and moaning all the times.

Genesis 1:26, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth that moves along the ground.’”

God gave His children authority and dominion over all His creation. Christians are His children, and power had been given to them to govern what belongs to Him, and they are to benefit from it. They have power over all animals; the mountains and plants. They have power over the seas and its contents. They have power over the devil and his followers! Now the question is; why do Christians live a defeated life?

If you are a child of God, His love is upon you. It is His love that you should be called His child, and that is what you are. Since He loves you as His child, it is your right to inherit what belongs to Him.

1 John 3:1, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him.”

They did not know Him who loves us so much. Because they did not know Him, they are not to be called His children. They are not supposed to inherit His possession. Strange enough, statistics proves that most non-Christians own the wealthy of this world; they are in top government positions; they make the world go round. They are successful.
Whilst the devil followers are enjoying all the elite and wealth they have stolen; he is also using them to destroy the lives of many people living under the sun. These include Christians and many of His followers.

John 10:10, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

The scripture is clearer on what the devil’s agenda and activities are on earth. He is fighting against God’s children; he is fighting to destroy God’s creation and His people who are his followers. The devil’s purpose is to kill and destroy. But thank God for Jesus. He has come to reverse every trap set against God’s children; He has come to remove all the obstacles laid before God’s children; He has come to reverse all the curses and everything that is evil against Christians and surly He has come to give life in its fullest.

With him you can face the enemy without fear. You have the right ammunition and that is Jesus. He is a perfect rifle; He is a perfect weapon. Oh, how I love Him.
Chapter 2

Timing the devil

The devil's strategy is to destroy as we have seen in chapter one. The devil uses a system we refer as "satanic exchange" to destroy. What is satanic exchange? It is what we read about in the book of Ecclesiastes 10:5-7, which is what Christians are subjected to.presented themselves before King Solomon. One of them said, 'your Majesty, this woman and I live in the same house, and I gave birth to a baby boy at home whilst she was there. Two days after my child was born she also gave birth to baby boy.Only the two of us were there in the house, no one else was present. The one night she

Ecclessiastes 10:5-7, "Here is an injustice I have seen in the world; an injustice caused by rulers. Stupid people are given positions of authority while the rich are ignored. I have seen slaves on horse back while noblemen go on foot like slaves."

Now; you need to carefully study the devil's movements for you to be able to face and defeat him. You need to know his times of operations. Remember; the devil is not God, but he wants to make himself God. He wants to be God. Because he is not God, it is easy to trace his operations, but you need to be more careful because of his tricks.

1 Kings 3:16-27, "Then one night she accidentally rolled over on her baby and smothered it. She got up during the night, took my son from my side while I was asleep, and carries him to her bed; then she put the dead child in my bed. The next morning, when I woke up and I was going to feed my baby, I saw that it was dead. I looked at it more closely, and saw that it was not my child.'"

The devil's activities are carried at night according to the scripture. What was supposed to be celebrated, (gift of a child) turned to be the worse mares in the lives of these women.

The devil targeted the two women at night. He used one against the other. The devil's most powerful tool of destruction is a human being; someone who is against God's word and against His will. Remember the backsliders! These are the most important subjects in the field of evil.

The same way, the devil targets the children of God at night. It is at night when he destroy marriages; it is at night when he plans armed robbery; it is at night when he performs witch craft; it is at night when he occupies the minds of Christians with all sorts of challenges, troubles and negative thoughts. It is at night! At night he is on duty. He works better during night shift. He and his angels operates freely. It is at night when all is quiet and every one else is faster asleep. At this time he sends his menpower; the angels of darkness to work. The devil's times of operation are at night. He steals at night. He exchanges the good for the bad at night. He enters the heart of a righteous man at night. He invade the brain of a man and its bloods cells at night.

It was during night hours when a woman's baby was exchanged for a dead baby. The devil can do the same to a Christian. He can exchange his life by death. He can also place death by the side of a Christian the whole night long without anyone noticing. He takes away God's beauty, which is life and replace it with death.

Many Christians are dead alive. They are dead-moving objects. The devil has dominated their lives. They do not even realise that they are dead. They do not even realise that they are carrying death which do not belong to them. Their Christian lives had been destroyed. Why? It is because the devil has been given a free role by Christians to freely operate without being challenged.

Be warned Christians! Be warned; the devil is monitorng each and every movement of a child of God. A slight slumber, the devil gets an opportunity to attack. He knows very well that Christians are lazy at night. Every one is tired, cold and dissappointed. That is when he moves freely with his evil workers and attacks the vulnerable.

In verse 21 of the same scripture in the book of 1 Kings 3, it says, "The next morning, when I woke up and I was going to feed my baby, I saw that it was dead. I looked at it more closely, and saw that it was not my child."

"When the morning came..." said the woman. She got a revelation. Lo! Next to her lay death. The child next to her was dead. As she looked at it more closely, the dead child she saw was not hers. The devil doubled this woman's tragedy. The devil has no mercy at all. He just add more trouble on top of trouble in ones life. He also add on it with death.

But thank God our Father in heaven, for Jesus Christ. The morning came for this troubled woman. The morning came while she was in the midst of storms and tribulations. When the morning came to her, something unexpected was revealed unto to her. Behold, death was placed by her side. When she looked more closely at it; that death was not hers. The whole night she slept next to death which did not belong to her. It was when the morning came that she discouvered the mistery.

In your Christian llife, you need to realise the morning. It is when the morning arrives that you will be able to see the hidden secretes of the devil set against you.

2 Peter 1:19, "And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts." You need the morning in your Christian life so that you may see clearly the devil's hidden agendas.

Christians must pray. It is only prayer that the Christians may experience light. Prayer is a Christian's alarm. Pray in the middle of the night. The morning can come in the middle of the night when you pray. The morning can come in the middle of storms when you pray.

"If the problem is five metres high; go down on your knees 5 for hours!" Pastor Kuduge.

You can face the enemy without fear if you pray. The devil's favourable times are at night. Pray against his forces at knight. You need to be alert for he is moving amongst lazy Christians aiming to destroy their lives.

1 Peter 5:8, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Lets look at Genesis 29:23 and 25, "But when the evening came, he took his daughter Leah and gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her."

It was at knight when evil acts were perfomed. Jacob had sexual intercourse with a woman who was not intended to be his (satanic exchange). The good he expected he could not get it, instead an exchange was done.

"When the morning came..." says verse 25, "there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, 'what is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn't I? Why have you deceived me?'"

The morning came for Jacob, and saw that the woman that he was involved with the whole night was not the one he worked for, for many years. The devil's system of destruction works perfect at knight against God's children when they are not alert; when the do not pray.

Chapter 3

Dealing with satanic exchange system

In this chapter we will look into certain facts referring closely to the scripture.

The first fact is; "A Person's Life Can Be Exchanged for Another" 1 Kings 20:42, "The Prophet then said to the King, 'this is the word of the Lord; because you allowed the man to escape whom I had ordered to be killed, you will pay for it with your life, and your army will be destroyed for letting his army escape.'"

Isaiah 43: 3-4, "For I am the Lord your God, the Holy God of Israel, who saves you. I will give up Eagypt to set you free; I will give up Ethiopia and Seba. I will give up the whole Nations to save your life, because you are precious to me and because I love you and give you honour."

The two scriptures shows clearly that it is possible to have someone's life to be exchanged for another. Even a whole Nation can be exchanged to save another Nation; it can be exchanged to to honour another Nation. That is possible.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God died in our place. He was without sin, but died for us so that we may live. Matthew 20:28, "Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many." Jesus' life was exchanged with our lives.

As a King, Jesus was supposed to be served. Many people were supposed to be put to death for mocking and despising Him; Instead He was reduced to a hardened criminal, a thief and a murderer; and reduced to death at the end. Thank God He is alive. He ressurrected from the death so that we may face the enemy without fear.

Now, having such information as the children of God; we stand with confidence to fight and defeat the enemy. The children of God are given all power and authority to channel all evils set against them to those who are non-believers. This sound very strange.

In the bible we have angry scriptures. Most Christians cannot accept such scriptures said to be angry scriptures due to its aggressiveness towards non-believers.

It is true that Christians have power to channel a death to someone else evil, instead of him or his children even if they were meant to die. Proverbs 21:18, "The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous, and the unfaithful for the upright."

If you are in trouble as a child of God, and you know that you are truly a child of God; you can activate the Law of Devine Substitution. Do not be afraid to pray like this: "Lord, all what I did against you I repent. May your wroth fall to those who are wicked; to those who are not doing your will. Let this cloud of death which is upon me and my family fall upon one of the families who are not doing your will; those who are sinning against you. Lord I am not worthy of death, but sinners are. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!"

What about praying like this? "Lord, my God. I need a Managing Director's position in that company. I pray oh Lord; the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to remove a sinner who occupies that position and put me in it. In Jesus name I pray!" Do not mention anyone's name when you pray. It is against the law of this world to mention someone's name. God knows the person who is supposed to give way for his chosen ones.

As you ask God for a certain job occupied by a sinner, make sure that you also have relevant qualifications for that job. Donnot pray for the removal of someone whereas you are not qualified for the job. God can replace a sinner with a sinner due to the qualifications they have.

Most Christians are lazy to empower themselves with education and they think they will just be employed only by faith. James 2:17, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."

Certain prayers might not work in a life of a Christian. There are certain prayers for certain situations in a life of a Christian. It is the time that Christians take a stand and pray "war fare" prayers; the prayers that activates the "Law of Devine Substitution". You need to use the right ammunition for your breakthrough to be manifested. Is your AK 47 having the right bullets? Is your prayer having the right ammunitions?

When your enemies are coming against you, know how to pray. Insert the rightful bullets and with confidence, direct them to your enemy. 11 Thessalonians 1:6, "Since it is a righteous thing with God to repay with tribulation those who trouble you."

Let us hear how David pray in the book of Psalm 69:22-28, "May the table set before them become a snare; may it become retribution and trap. May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see, and their backs be bent forever. Pour out your wrath on them; let your fierce anger overtake them. May their place be deserted; let there be no one to dwell in their tents. For they persecute those you wound and talk about the pain of those you hurt. Charge them with crime upon crime; do not let them share in your salvation. May they be blotted out of the book of life and not be listed with the righeous." Angry scriptures!

A person's life can be exchanged for another! Daniel 3:22-23, "The King's command was so urgent and the furnance so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnance."

What happened here was that, the three soldiers lives were exchanged for the lives of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. This confirms the scripture in the book of 1 Chronicles 16:22, "Do not touch my annointed ones; do my prophets no harm."

Lets hear what happend to Daniel. Daniel 6:24, "At the King's command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown int the lion's den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones." The story of Daniel proves beyond doubt that God is faithful to those who fear Him. Daniel was meant to die, instead the men who falsely accused Him with their families died in their place. How good is our God? This is a challenge to the children of God.

The second fact is; "A Man's Destiny Can Be Exchanged for Another". That is true!

Esther 2:21-23, "During the time that Mordecai held office in the palace, Bigthana and Teresh, two of the palace eunuch who guarded the entrance to the King's rooms, became hostile to King Xerxes and plotted to assassinate him. Mordecai learnt about it and told Queen Esther, who then told the King what Mordecai had found out. There was an invistigation, and it was discouvered that the report was true, so both men were hanged on the gallows. The King ordered an account of this to be written down in the official records of the empire."

Let us look at the same book of Esther 3:1-2, "Some time later King Xerxes promoted a man named Haman to the position of a prime minister. Haman was the son of Hammedatha, a descendant of Agag. The King ordered all the officials in the service to show their respect for Haman by kneeling and bowing to him. They all did so, except for Mordecai, who refused to do so."

The third fact is; "A man's brain can be exchanged for another." Yes it is true.

Remember Nebuchadnezar! Daniel 4:31-33, "Before the words were of his mouth, a voice spoke from heaven, 'King Nebuchadnezar, listen to what I say! Your royal power is now taken away from you. You will be driven away from from human society, live with wild animals, and eat grass like an ox for seven years. Then you will acknowledge that the Supreme God has power over human kingdoms and that he can give them to anyone he chooses. The words came true immediately.' Nebuchadnezar was driven out of human society and ate grass like an ox. The dew fell on his body, and his hair grew as long as eagles' feathers and his nails as long as birds' claws."

The fourth fact is; "Somebody's problems can be transferred to someone else." That is true.

11 Kings 5:27, "And now Naaman's disease will come upon you, and you and you descendants will have it forever. When Gehazi left, he had the disease - his skin was a white as snow."

Proverbs 11:8, "The righteous is delivered from trouble, and it comes to the wicked instead."

Zachariah 13:6, "Then if someone asks him, 'What are those wounds on your chest?' he will answer, 'I got them from a friend's house.'"

Psalm 41:9, "Even my own friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me."

Matthews 10:34, "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword."

Revelations 13:7, "It was granted to him to make war with the Saints and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and action.

Chapter 4

Facing the enemy in the market place

What is the market place? It is anywhere where there is an exchange of money for goods, labour, life and visa vesa. It is a centre of your life and activities.

Most of our lives are spent in the market place. It is where dog eats dog. It is where only the fittest survives. It is in the market place where the devil has built his own stronghold on earth.

Everyone meets in the market place to grab a slice of bread for survival. They meet in this place to gather something to make a living for their families. some are just striving to make a mere a living, and some to make a decent living.

Think about workers in a bus going to work early in the morning. It can be by a taxi or by a train. You come accross different people in different proffessions, and in different positions. Amongst them are doctors, teachers, nurses, sportsmen and women, police officers, prostitutes, priests, witches and wizards, witch doctors, thieves, devil worshipers, false prophets, prophets, criminals and the list is endless. All these in that transport system are aheading to the market place to fight for the successes in different ways. They also want to enhance their status.

I am very certain that these people's beliefs differs in many ways. Some of them were steaming with all sort of substances the previous night subscribed to them by their witchdoctors; and some had consulted with the elders and ancestors for promotions at work; some had consulted with fortune tellers to in search for their future; Some were moving naked the whole night as a way of achieving their riches in the market place.

Some had murdered their children and are carrying their body parts to work win the battle; some are carrying lucky vaseline all the way to their businesses. Yes! That is how cruel the market place. They all want to achieve something; either jobs, promotions, win court cases; to be succesful in the planned armed robbery, to succeed in their revenge plan and some to defeat their opponents. All is happening in this place of survival. Some are going to work in good faith, but the aim is to survive in the market place.

If you are a child of God you need to launch a spiritual war fare battle. Christians are ignorant because they lack knowledge. The war in the market place is tense and nothing is compromised. There are no favours in the market place. You either die or live. It is a win-lose situation. There is no time to bless ane another because everybody's will is to survive.

Why Christians always blesses everyone at any given time? They praise even their toughest opponents and enemies. They eat anything they are given, and they visit anyone who invites them. They accept to be touched or prayed for by anyone. Hey Christians! Your enemies or your opponents may use food for your downfall; your footsteps might become your death source; your blessings to your enemy may withdraw curses for you and demons can flourish in your life if you allow anyone to touch you.

If you are a Christian, it is your full responsibilty to evangelise to the lost. By so doing you will be able to decrease and minimise the alters of the devil. We will be able to raise and multiply prayer worriers in our society. This is to breakdown the stronghold of the devil.

Pray for more priesthood and pastors in your community. These annointed servants of God has a responsibilty to pray for the children of God and deliver them from the bondages of the enemy.

Christians should launch a strong attack against the alters of the devil created to destroy the children of God. The battle of life is the battle of alters. Most Christians are not succesful because certain alters had been creaated against them. It can be alters of curses within the family. Some Christians are not married; their wives or husbands are married to wrong men of the world. Some Christians are penniless whereas their millions are owned by someone eveil somewhere. Their lives are held back in the alters.

The old testament put it clear. If you take a claer note, everything pertaning life and death was perfomed on the alters. Blood of the animals was shared on the alters. It was either to give thanks to God or for the cleansing of their sins. This means that, spiritual cleansing was done on alters. Abraham himself was required to offer his son Isaac as a sacrifice to God on the alter.

Genesis 22:2, "Then God said, 'Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.'"

An alter is a meeting place. People control from alters. Things are controlled from alters. Things are happening on alters. It is a place where human lives battles spiritually.

It is clear that the lives of many Christians are held back in alters. Break down the alters of the devill! Bring them down! Break down the alters of the enemy for you to move forward with your life.

Christians you must increase discipleship in your territory. You need to recruit more people who will serve in the house of God. We must have intercessors amongst the disciples, evangelists, healers and other ddepartments in the house of the Lord.

You need to launch cells and multiply cell groups in our territories. We do not have to compromise this department. It is very important because you are bringing the gospel closer to the people. We are living in the market place where the devil has created his stronghold on earth; and he wants to control the market place; he wants to be above the children of God.

Chapter 5

Fight back

The market place is not only the place of money, but of warfare. You need to deal with alters assigned against you.

Jeremiah 1:10, "Today I give you authority over nations and kingdoms to uproot and to pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant."

You have power to uproot! You the child of God. You were given power to uproot! You have power to overcome the enemy. You have authority over life and death; over success and failure. Stop lazying around Christians. It is you or you are not. If you are, then you will stamp your authority.

Your inheritance and prosperity is in your hands; that are milk and honey; health and welth. What you need is to stamp your authority. Fight back!

Do not sit back! Start prayer groups in your work place. Pray against your enemies; break down their force of strength.

If you are promoted at your work place and given a new office, do not just occupy that office before uprooting the alters of the previous office user. Pray for each and every corner at your place of work. Use tea breaks and lunch hours for your prayer meetings. Be prayerful. Destroy the alters of the enemy by all means and raise the alter unto the Lord our God. You must activate the Law of Devine Substitution.

Joshua 1:5, "Joshua, no one will be able to defeat you as long as you live. I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will always be with you; I will never abandon you."

God's promises stands even today. God is with His children wherever they are. Do not permit defeat at the edge of your breakthrough. How many times you were stopped at an almost situation, at an obvious stage? Many a time. "Eesh... almost there!" It has become a habit for you to live an "eesh" life. "The devil has done this; the devil has done that!" you are always complaining. Yes the devil is interferring in your life, but you have power to sking him alive. Enough is eneough. Fight back!

Chapter 6

Sinners gift is God's wroth

Sinners must work for nothing according to the scripture. Christians must benefit from what belongs to their Father God. Sinners have no right whatsover to inherit what belongs to God.

Ecclesiastes 2:26, "God gives wisdom, knowledge and hapiness to those who please him, but he make sinners to work, earnings and saving, so that what they get can be given to those who please him. It is all useless. It is like chasing the wind."

God's anger falls on those who does not believe in him. John 3:36, "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whosoever disobeys the Son will not have life, but will remain under God's punishment." This means that, untimely death must fall on sinners.
The devil owns nothing, hencee his followers must get nothing. God is the owner of the Universe and every thing in it. Psalm 24:1, "The world and all that is in it belong to the Lord; the earth and all who live on it are His." Haggai 2:8, "All the silver and gold of the world is mine."

God emphasizes His ownership on earth. Psalms 50:10-11, "All animals in the forest are mine and the cattle on thousands of hills. All the wild birds are mine and all living things in the fields."

Everything belongs to God. Whatever belongs to God belongs to His children. Sinners has no right to access the inheritance that belongs only to the children of God.

John 8:4, "You are the childrenn of your father, the devil, and you want to follow your father's desires. From the very beginning he was a murderer and has never been on the side of truth, because there is no truth in him. When he tells a lie, he is only doing what is natural to him, because he is a liar and the father of lies!" This means the devil's children has no right to the things of God.

But God's children have found favour in his sight. Romans 8:15, "For the Spirit that God has given you does not make you slaves and cause you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit makes you God's children, and by the Spirit's power we cry out to God, 'Father! my Father!"

Romans 8:17, "Since we are His children, we will possess the blessings he keeps for His people, and we will also possess with Christ what God has kept fo him; for if we share Christ's suffering, we will also share his glory."

Pray for anything you want to your Father God. Speak to God as if you are speaking to your earthly father. Make sure that in the market place all positions are occupied by Christians; from the top position of the president to the lowest post. Pray that God remove all the sinners and replace them with His children. Proverbs 11:8, "Lord those who are righteous are freed and be exchanged by sinners."

Chapter 7

Identify your land

Lets us look closely at God's promises to His children. Joshua 1:1-9, "after the death of the Lord's servant Moses, the Lord spoke to Moses' helper, Joshua sson of Nun.

"He said, "My servant is dead. Get ready now, you and all the people of Israel, and cross the River Jordan into the land that I am giving them.

"As I told Moses, I have given you and all my people the entire land that you will be marching over.

"Your borders will reach from the desert in the south to the Lebanon Mountains in the north; from the great River Euphrates in the east, through the Hittite country, to the Mediterranean Sea in the west.

"Joshua, no one will be able to defeat you as long as you live. I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will always be with; i will never abandon you.

"Be determined and confident, for you will be the leader of these people as they occupy this land which I promised their.

"Just be determined, be confident; and make sure that you obey the whole Law that my servant Moses gave you. Do not neglect any part of it and you will succeed wherever you go.

"Be sure that the book of the Law is always read in your worship. Study it day and night, and make sure that you obey everything written in it. Then you will be proseperous and successful.

"Remember that I have commanded you to be determined and confident! Don't be afraid or discouraged, for I, the Lord your God, am with you wherever you go."

The above scripture gives us assurity about the God''s promises to His children. His promises remains the same from one promised generation to another.

God will always remind you of the promise He made to you or to your ancestors. God will also warn you of the challenges ahead.

You need to identify your land as a Christian. Many Christians have wasted their time on other people's land due to the fact that there are not sure of their callings.

If you are a Christian, it is important to know of your calling. What are you called to do? What is your gift? Know your gift. This will help you to enhance it. You will be able to enhance it through prayers; then through education; and you will also know the type of people you will network with.

It is imporatnt that you are well informed about the day to day activities; study very hard; listen the news; read the newspapers; browse the internet. Eduaction is very important. the devil is so trick in such a way that he is so well updated and knowledgeable. He also use technology to dispower God's children.

Get eduacted child of God. That position is occupied by a learnered sinner. To get rid of him, you need to be well qualified and to apply the Law of Devine Substitution. Gone are the days when lazy people will get to pastoral positions. Today's pastors are graduates. We still want to see more pastors and evangelists; and members of the church having degrees and masters; doctorate and honours in the different fields.

Stop wasting your time in somebody else's land. "You can climb the ladder of success, but only to findout that it is leaning on the wrong wall." Steven Leof.

Why are you busy doing what you were not called to do? Luke10:42, "But only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will no be taken away form her."

Christians always want to take by faith they need to take by force. James2:8, "But someone will say, "One person has faith, another has actions." My answer is, "Show me how anyone can have faith without actions. I will show you my faith by my actions."

It is true that faaith alone without actions is dead. Whatever land God give you is not empty. Numbers 13:22-29

Joshua 13:12, "

My Queen

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My KIDS: Connie (9); Tracy (4); Nanette (1)

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Big Girl

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My Love!!!

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My Queen!!!!!!

2009-10-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

Good Times

2009-10-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

In Mozambique with the needy kids; getting help from children's cup

My first born; Connie

Re-Living The Memories / All good times

2009-10-20T00:16:00.000-07:00

My Last born: Nanette

My wife: Precious (right) and friend Zinty cooking for the needy in Swaziland

My daughter Tracy (at the back) and friend: Sarah in Swaziland

Nanette

Home visit in Mozambique

2009-09-23T01:24:00.000-07:00

Raising a Girl Child
___________________________________________________________
A wake up call to parents

She was vulnerable; she needed attention; she needed someone to talk to; she needed a friend, a father and mother. She wanted to be loved and to be accepted. She wanted to be understood, and she wanted to be given attention. She wanted to belong. Pinky was vulnerable! She needed an ear and a shoulder to cry on. She was vulnerable!

In pursuit of her happiness; in pursuit of her joy she gave up her life. She led a reckless life. She associated with bad friends especially elderly men. She engaged herself in drugs, alcohol and in unprotected sex in exchange of happiness. She got happiness as she wanted, but for temporary. Men after men took advantage of her. She even left home for almost a year and married herself to a man whom she bore a beautiful daughter she named “Gracious”.

Today she is back with her family. The family is trying to do everything to close the gap between them and their daughter. They are helping her to continue with her studies as she recently registered for a University course. She get whatever she want from her parents and they even support the baby. Moreover they are giving her the baby uncompromised love.

In spite of all this, Pinky deep inside her, she knows that she bought her parents respect with heavy price. The scars of the past haunt her. She is now in battle with herself. She is in denial of the facts that whatever happened in past resulted in her being HIV positive. She doesn’t even wish to let her parents know that. Her husband/boyfriend, the father of her daughter Gracious had been begging her to let her parents know about her status. She had begged him not to say anything about her status.

As I sit here narrating Pinky story I realize that I’m the rightful father of pinky’s daughter, Gracious. I am Pinky’s husband/boyfriend of two years. I feel guilty about Pinky and I ask myself, “What have I done?” I feel I should have done things differently. I got involved with her when she was not ready. She was pushed by certain circumstances. She saw me as a father figure and a brother. She wanted my support and she wanted to be appreciated.

I could not figure that out. Instead I played a husband to her in the midst of her the storms she was facing. She was in the battle to get her parents attention and love. Yes I should have acted differently. She will never forgive me in her life time. I wonder what she say when she look at my daughter who look exactly like her father, me. Does she hurt her or does she love her more?

I’m confused and frustrated. After two and half year in this relationship, the truth has heat home. Pinky had never loved for me, never. This relationship was not real. Pink was aiming to be brought back under the wings of her family, and this time she knew they would give her respect.

Today I and Pinky are separated. Our relationship ended up in a sour note. Our relationship ends up with one pointing finger to another and blaming each other for everything that went wrong in the past. The arguments have reached a stage where no one can normalize the situation. Pinky’s parents are avoiding the truth as they emphasize that we are not married legal. They are also using their culture in a wrong way so that they don’t find themselves in a wrong side for what happened in the past.

How did I end up in a relation with Pinky? I remember very well when I fell in love with Pinky. It was the 19th February 2007. I t was a remarkable day of my life. It started as a cool and calm day, but strange for both Pinky and me.

I was a divorced man flirting around with different ladies with the city. I was running my sister’s college by then, and every one it was my college. Pinky was amongst the few people who volunteered to assist in the running of the college. She worked as my personal assistant. She was a hard worker who wanted to see the company growing.

That day, the 19th February marked a new beginning in our lives. We had been working together for at least 3 months, but it never crossed my mind that I would one day be attracted to her. Actually, I thought that our life styles were far different. I was more conservative and she was more into glamour life. In fact she had been doing modeling and appearing on front pages of our local news papers. Such things were against my culture and religion. Though I was no longer attending church and had nothing to do with the church after my failed marriage of 8 years, I respected certain values which were supported by the church.

The day began like any other day with hugs and smiles to everyone who came to the office; but when I touched and hugged Pinky I felt something different. I had a feeling of love? Something I had not felt for many years in my life. ‘Was this the feeling that you feel when you are feeling something that you have never felt before?’ That was a definition of love that was given by my former classmate when I was doing grade 11.

She looked different on that day, and I knew she had felt something too. She could not look direct into my eyes as usual, but her broad smile said it all. She could not tell, but signs were there to help a hunter to catch its prey. Since that morning I had been giving my full attention, smiling to her and sending a clear message of love to her.

Just at mid-day of that day, we found ourselves in one of the offices the college occupied, together holding a piece of paper which we were supposed to make a copy from it. We were all by ourselves, no one was in. I rested my hand on her shoulders for a moment. I knew I was taking chances as it was against the law. It was sexual harassment by itself, but I could not help it. When I realized that she was not retaliating, I became relaxed; until we were disturbed by her young brother who entered the office without knocking. I quickly removed my hands from her. She smiled and left without saying a word. I remained alone thinking deep. Maybe she loved me, I could not tell.

We stayed in the office by ourselves until it was late. As she was about to leave I offered to take her out of the college building. On our way out by the escalators, I came closer to her, looking direct to her eyes. Her eyes were glowing. I realized that she looked beautiful and sexy than any woman I had ever met in my life.

I came closer to her and gave her a hug. I then kissed her on the neck and looked her direct in her eyes. Without noticing, we started kissing.

“We can’t do this because you are my boss, sorry I have to go.” She said.

‘Oh, no we need to talk about this and finish right now,’ I said as I pulled her aside by the corner of the building.

‘Pinky!’ I said. ‘Love me please.’ I begged for her love. She could not utter a word. We started kissing again. Yes I felt something that would change my life completely. Time was against us, but I had to make sure that I kissed her enough for the day.

“Solomon, I must go.” She pleaded with me when she realized that I was not in a position to let her leave. Yes, she had to go. I wanted more time with her. She loved me! Maybe, that remained to be seen.

I accompanied to the bus stop and left her while waiting for the next bus home. After some few minutes, I called her on her mobile phone. I requested her to quickly return to the office so that we could discuss an urgent work related issue. That was a lie. I wanted her so bad. To my surprise, she simple agreed.

We were together again. In just a moment we were kissing. It was a non-stop kissing action. We ended up having sex on the same day.

Chapter 2

We enjoyed being together; and I normally called her after work to find out how she traveled home. She tried so hard to hide from her mother about our relationship. She wanted to nurse this relationship without being questioned. It was not long she could hide it from her mother. Her mother had already suspected something. She received calls now and then from me. She started questioning and teasing her, but she could not deny or accept anything.

Her mother did not approve our relationship and forced her to resign from the college. In spite of her resignation I phoned her visited her home.

Now it started making sense, ‘Love could not only be felt, but could also be seen.’ That is what Pinky tried to bring to my attention. I searched for the definition of the word love from the bible. Wow, it has a nice definition, “Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but it is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope and patience never fail.”

Pinky seemed to have all those qualities. She was caring and showing love from the start. She was always worried and concerned when I was also worried and over working myself. She always wanted to help and she always gave me courage when I felt like giving up. Those were the things I missed as a man.

She also accepted that I had children from my previous relationship, and she was prepared to compromise that. She loved me, so she said.

My elder daughter once visited Pinky’s place for a wee. She said to Pinky’s mother, “You don’t know! Pinky will get married to my dad.” My daughter said with pride.

Pinky was just 20 years old, and she would turn 21 in few months. She was not demanding. She appreciated anything you I gave her. She apologized to anything wrong happening against me.

She enjoyed sharing with me a lot whenever we were together.

“Solomon, I want you to know this.” She said in one of our conversations. “First of all I want to thank you for loving me. I had been in and out of relationships. My relationship with you had been the longest relationship in my life.” She said. I was surprised because we had only been in this relationship for only 3 months.

‘Thanks love.’ I said realizing that I had made a big difference in her life. I thought I was the one who only needed her love, but she equally needed mine. “Finally I have got my match.’ I said within my heart.

“I was brought up by a single parent.” She continued. “My father left us while I was fifteen. My brother was just eleven. He left us after burning the house.” She paused, and I noticed that tears were rolling down her beautiful cheeks.

I held her very close to me. “My past relationships were not as interesting, fun, motivating and crazy like I am now.” She said.

“I was always treated like a trophy girlfriend; whenever I wanted to go out with them or just wanted to see them, they would be too busy to meet with me. They only came to see me when it suited them, in their own time, not on my own time.” She continued.

“I had a bad reputation of guys leaving me without telling me where they were off to. They would leave from one province to another without even saying goodbye Pinky or it is over between is.” She looked worried as she narrated her past experience.

I was listening carefully. I felt I could cry but I had to be strong. “Solomon things were not easy. One day I became sick. I went to our family Doctor for a check up. He discovered that I was smoking, but promised not to tell my mother. He advised me not to as it could make me to be very sick because I suffer from heart conditions. I was a heavy smoker and I smoked even dagga.” She continued.

“I hate that bastard! I hate my father. My mother carried the burden alone because of an irresponsible father.” She said with an angry tone.

What she was telling me was too sensitive. It hurts. I had my own past horrible experiences too, but at her age it was too much she was going through. I wished I could do something at that time, but nothing I could do. I just embraced her. I was also prepared to share with her my past experience but she interrupted as she came closer and we started kissing.

My family had heard about Pinky. They were happy for us, but my sister was not happy because she thought my relationship with Pinky would affect the business.

Pinky loved my family and she got to know me more through her conversations with my mother and my sister.

Pinky’s hatred against her dad worried me a lot I strongly believed that she had nothing to do with their divorce. In fact I would love her biological dad to be the one holding her hand during our marriage. I hated her step father and she did not like the step either.

But once I touch on that issue of her reconciling with her dad, she would freak out and say, “Never Solomon! Never! That bastard messed up my family. You don’t know what he did to my mother and he always hated me.”

“Pinky, you have nothing to do with what had happened between your dad and mom. You don’t know what exactly happened. What you know is that, your father burnt the house and you saw you father beating your mother. What real went wrong, you will never know. Don’t take sides. Just love and support both of them. Let them take care of their differences. Of course support you mom more as she had been there for you.” I said to her disapproval.

Our love grew stronger and stronger each and everyday. Pinky would normally visit me as usual, standing her mother’s commands. I love her so much. We sent one another love smses and would sometimes visit her place.

One day I visited her place in the absence of her mother. Pinky cooked nice food for me. We ate and discussed many things. She was expecting her mother come late but without expecting it, she appeared at the sitting room door way.

“What brings you here Solomon?” She said without smiling. She was not showing any signs of anger either.

“I’m just lost, and I thought I should pass by and ask for water.” I said trying to control my language.

“Don’t get lost around this place.’ She said. “Did you get the water you were looking for?” She asked. I tried to avoid that question but she repeated it. “Did you get the water Solomon?”

“No mom.” I said. She sat there looking at us with disapproval. She hated me. I felt it. Actions speak louder than words.

It finally came to my ears that she hated the fact that I am a Shangaan. She even accused me of operating an illegal business. Nevertheless, I and Pinky were in love. She loved me. No matter what her mother said against me.

I was not the first man to be in love with Pinky as she had told me. She had been involved with a man her mother introduced to her. She couldn’t get involve with her because he was staying far. Though she visited him twice, she felt their relationship was not real. Her mother loved the gentlemen because he was well off with a good paying job.

Pinky always apologized to me about her mother’s behaviour against me. I had no problem with her mother. I understood very well the reasons behind. She was acting like any other mother who could do anything to protect her daughter. She wanted the best for her child. There was no need for Pinky to apologize. I loved her, and nothing could have changed. She was a caring, loving-woman any man could dream of.

The more her mother hated me, the more she loved me more. I also loved her more in return. So, I was very careful whenever I visited her place. I would avoid going to her house, instead we spent our time at the nearby shopping complex or the parks.

Chapter 3

Months went by. The good news was that, Pinky’s father was trying hard to get back into the family fold. He was visiting her family frequently. He even bought a cake for Pinky’s mother during the mother’s day celebration. He also took his two children (Pinky and her young brother) to kids’ entertainment places. I recall when Pinky called, she sounded very happy over the phone about the situation at home, but she emphasized that she did not need him back in her family house.

One day, Pinky came to the college after having some misunderstandings with her mother. She did not look okay as she came through the door.

‘Love, you don’t look okay today.’ I said to her.

“I’m okay babes, I just need to relax.” She said not interested in telling me what was going on.

We had less conversation as she lay on the sofa. She said she would take the last bus home. That was strange. Normally she preferred to take a bus prior to the last one. We had our lunch in the office but she ate a bit of what I gave. She was someone who would not want to be bothered about her personal issues. She needed her space. She would tell when the time was right.

Not long, she woke up and starred at me. “Solomon.” She said. “I wish we were married and staying together I am tired of being treated like a fifteen year old.” She continued.

‘What happened babes? You can tell me.’ I said begging her to share with me her troubles.

“My mother sweetheart!” she responded.

‘What with your mother?’ I asked her willing to know what she has done to her this time.

“She embarrassed me in front of people. She accuses me of creating debts for her and working for the company which could not pay. I don’t want to go back anymore.” She cried. I came closer and comforted her.

‘Babes, You know how much I love and care for you. No matter what your mother is doing to you, you still need her. You can’t just run away from home. Even if we could get married, we still need them in our lives. It is difficult for now but one day they will accept me.’ I realized that she was not listening to what I was saying. In fact she was crying.

“Solomon I’m not going home.” She said it again while her mobile phone rang. It was her father calling. She did not answer it. She told me that he had been calling her ever since she left the house. He had advised her to go back home because her mother was upset. Her mother had complained to him that she was seen with me at the mall by the nearby complex some days ago. Her father called several times but she could not attend to it. It kept on ringing until she decided to switch it off. I tried to beg to switch it on but she refused. Pinky was troubled. I started thinking deep and wondering what the future holds for us.

I then called he father and I spoke to him myself. I asked him to come and take Pinky home. He just started shouting angrily at me and called me a dog. I answered back, ‘How could you give up on your daughter?’ I said.

Pinky grabbed the phone and spoke to her father. “You not responsible!” she said. “What kind of a dad are you?” she asked and than hung up the line.

It was getting late. The last bus was about to leave. “Solomon, I’m not going home.” She said it again. It was becoming a concern to me. She meant it. I feared that her not going home could worsen the situation between me and her mother.

‘Why love? Please don’t do that to your mother.” I begged her.

“I’m not going home Solomon. She does not give me the respect I need. I’m not going home!” She repeated.

‘Where will you sleep my love?’ I asked. The issue was very serious.

“I’ll sleep here in the office.” She replied.

‘No ways. You better go home or I’ll go with you to my place.” I said.

“No Solomon! I’m not going home, and I’m not going with you either.” She said.

‘You are not going to sleep in the office. I’m not going to allow you. I’ll accompany you home by a taxi and leave you at your door steps.” I said.

“No. I’ll go on my way, don’t bother.” She said.

“No ways. You are not going your own way. You can’t sleep in the office either. I’ll take you home or you will come with me. Stop crying and do as I say.” I said while I was becoming irritated.

I took her with me home. Sine I was staying with my sister I explained everything to her concerning Pinky.

“Pinky is welcome. We will see what happen after tonight. Maybe her mother will call. Let’s wait for the next day.” My sister said.

I was not comfortable. I wanted to speak to her father but I had no direct contacts of his mobile phone. I secretly searched her father’s contacts on hermobile. They had to know where Pinky was. I did not want to be blamed for anything that could happen while she was with me. She had ruled everyone out of her life including her father she perceived as a very bad person. I had to do what she would blame me for doing by speaking to her father.

“Hello!” Pinky’s father answered his mobile phone.

‘Hello Papa.’ I calmly answered back.

“Who are you?” He asked.

‘Solomon. I’m calling to inform you that Pinky is with me. I’m doing this without her permission, but I thought it could be better for you to know.’ I said trying not to panic. He could say anything he wanted to say, but I was ready to listen and not to answer back.

“Solomon, I’m not happy.” He said.

‘I know papa.’ I responded.

“You caused all this. Ever since she started being with you, things had not been good between her and her mother.” He said. I wanted to believe him but I could not. Pinky had told me that they always had quarrels with her mother long before I knew her. Moreover, her father cursed her and said she will never be successful in her life.

‘Papa I accept it, but I want to appeal on her behalf forher behalf it, but I want to appeal to you to make a plan for her tomorrow. fe.
re I knew her.
hone. I secrete;l don'ough th you to make a plan for her tomorrow. You need to convince her to come home. I am the one to be blamed, but please papa she needs your support. I would not like what is happening to her to happen to my daughters either. That is why I decided to come came call you against her will.’ I begged him. I knew it was hard for him because he was not staying with his family either; but as a father expected him to protect her daughter from vultures like Solomon.

“Okay Solomon. I’ll do that. Please tell her to switch on her mobile phone. I want to speak to her. Bye.” He said as he hung up.

I was happy that I managed to speak to him. I expected him to help out. I wanted Pinky to be back with her family by the next day.

I then told Pinky that I spoke to her father. I told her everything about our conversation and how hopeful I was that he was going to help out.

She had no problem but she was surprised that I did not tell her.

“He didn’t fight you?” She asked.

‘No. He seemed understanding and willing to help. He only requested you to switch on you mobile phone whenever he make a call. He wants to speak to you.’ I said.

“Next time my lovely husband; you must inform me before you could take any action.” She said while smiling. That was a billion dollar smile. ‘I must protect her. Soon she will be my wife.’ I thought to myself.

On Pinky’s permission, my sister called her father. That was the following day. He did not answer. The she called Pinky’s mother.

She tuned the house landline phone to a loud speaker. She wanted us to follow the conversation. Pinky’s mother answered the phone. She said all sort of negative things about me. She accused me of making her daughter a wife. She attacked me of my age difference with her daughter. She accused my sister of operating an illegal business.

“I reported you to the police to investigate your business!” She said. “I also reported you for kidnapping my daughter.” She continued.

‘Some other parents were not matured enough.’ I thought to myself. ‘Instead of helping her daughter, she brought unfounded issues. To hell with her! She can do whatever she wants to do.’ I deeply thought to myself.

My sister was calm and she tried very hard to make her understand. My sister did not know that the issue involved her. She had already reported that the matter to the police, as she said. My sister begged her to forgive Pinky and take her back.

“I don’t want to see her back here!” said Pinky’s mother.

That was it! She was not needed back home. She had been given to me to take care of her. I was not happy to hear that, but I vowed to take care of her and make her happy. She was as free as Nelson Mandela after spending 27 years in jail. The issue of police was stupid. My sister was not happy after talking to Pinky’s mother. She promised to support us.

“You love Solomon ne?” said my sister to Pinky. She smiled and I also teased her.

‘You love Solomon?’ she was shy.

Pinky’s mother continued to accuse me of bewitching her daughter. She did not want to admit that her child was not happy with her mother’s behaviuor. She also said I wanted to wed her daughter to get a South African ID. She was not well. I had my own South African ID. My mother is a South African, that’s what she did not know. On the other hand she accused me of making her daughter pregnant. She was not. Pinky’s mother wanted something that will see me being arrested instead of facing the truth. I had done nothing except being in love with her daughter. Her daughter was not happy at home. Her mother was giving her hard time. She had to accept that. She was supposed to sit down with her daughter and find a solution. She had to stop blaming other people for the misunderstanding amongst her family.

She had been pretending not to care much about her daughter, but I finally realized that she cared. She sent a friend to call us and pretended as a police officer. The so called police accused me of kidnapping Pinky. That was not true. We requested the police to come and take her because no one kidnapped her.

Chapter 4

A week came to a full circle. I was getting to know Pinky better by then. I was with her almost 24 hours of each and every celebrated day. She was getting well with my family. I was ready tom do anything to make her happy. It was not going to be easy, but I vowed to do everything within my power to make our relationship work. She was willing to support me in whatever I would do for us to be able to move forward.

Though my sister supported us, she disapproved our relationship. She decided to shutdown the college because she said our relationship will do it no good. It was a waste of time.

I did not care. All what I needed was to be loved and to love beck, and that is what Pinky was giving me.

It was the 17th June 2007. It was midnight of the Father’s day. Pinky sent her father a Father’s day message. “Let me be the first one to say; Happy Father’s day!”

“Thanks my daughter.” responded her father. That was beautiful. I appreciated it.

‘Like father like daughter.’ I teased her. She laughed in a provocative way. Little did I know that our honey moon was coming to an end.

Early the next morning her father called. He wanted to come and see her daughter. Hat was a surprise to Pinky but somehow she was happy.

‘What a father’s day present to my lovely lady.’ I thought to myself.

Pinky directed her dad where she was. As for me I did not have to meet him. The man was angry and there was nothing I could say to him. They had to lie to him that I had traveled.

E finally arrived at my sister’s house. He was well welcomed by the family. They had a long discussion with my sister and shared a cup of coffee. That was a sign of a future long term relationship. They had to accept me into pinky’s family. I was going nowhere.

Pinky was called in to see her father. She greeted her dad. He had come to take her daughter home. He was so thankful to my sister for taking care of her.

“She will come any time she wants to come.” Pinky’s father said. Pinky was not prepared to go with her father that same day, but my sister begged her to obey her father.

Pinky’s father emphasized that I must apologise to him for the way I talked him over the phone. That was impossible. I could not apologise to him because there was nothing bad I said. He was the one who called me a dog. He had to apologise to me.

Pinky came to my room to kiss me goodbye. I held her tight against my chest and I felt that we had created a bond between us. After she left, her space could be felt in the family.

That evening I called her to find out how she was received at home. She sounded very happy. She had had a long conversation with her mother. In fact her mother had found a letter in her bedroom addressed to her during those days she was absent from home. The letter was written by pinky. I asked myself, ‘why a child has to go through such pain in order to be accepted in the family?’

The letter she wrote to her mother read as followed;

“Dear Mother

“I’m sorry if I have hurt you anyhow. I’m sorry for not being the perfect daughter you want me to be. I am sorry for not making you a proud mom. I am sorry for disappointing you, for being a Mabuza and useless in life. I am sorry for causing pain in your life.

“Mom, I know that you have been there for me through thick and thin. I appreciate what you have done for me and I also love you for that. You have been and still a perfect and amazing mom. You were able to carry us in your arms and support us. You seemed to have everything together. You shared your problems with friends and family, and after sharing your problems you would feel much better. Everybody respects you because you are such a good strong woman.

“I had friends, I disclosed myself. I was always pretending to be happy in your eyes and in everybody else’ eyes. I was pretending to be strong and seemed as though I had everything under control. But I was dying inside; I didn’t sleep every night crying for help. I was hurting so much; my chest would even burn up. I didn’t want you to see that I was hurting; I didn’t want you to see my tears, because I didn’t want to hurt you. I was protecting you from the hurt that I was feeling. I was always unhappy, but pretending to be happy. I always locked myself in the house because I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me or even laugh at me. I was so vulnerable, but always kept a smile on my face. I was dying inside.

“When I started working at the shop, I was always happy because I was doing something unlike thinking the whole day and night. I was happy because I had friends to talk to and I was also interacting with people. Though, I couldn’t go and work there anymore. I started feeling depressed, vulnerable and sorry for myself. I didn’t sleep every night; I cried day and night when you were not around. I was also pretending to be happy.

“December I started working/volunteering for Solomon, my life started changing, I was happy again. I was recognized by people and they started liking me. I was more than happy until, I stopped working; again I am feeling stressed, depressed and worried. I don’t sleep at night and I also don’t eat at all. I am so vulnerable.

“Growing up was very difficult for me and I never enjoyed my childhood and teenage life. No one understood me. I was always rejected by friends and never recognized. I didn’t fit in well in groups. It was my dream to have friends who will understand me and level up to the standard that I was living; I was always at home depressed and never enjoyed life as a young star because of the challenges we were going through.

“Solomon understands me, he listens to me and he is very patient. I trust him and can tell him anything. He is such a good friend to me and he also makes me happy. I know that you think that I am crazy; you are also thinking I can’t be friends with someone who is 30 years of age. I know that you don’t like him. You hate him a lot for not paying me. I promise you, he will pay me each and every little cent he owes.

“Because you hate him, you are expecting me to cut my friendship with him. You are expecting me never to see him again; you are asking me to throw my happiness way. I am already depressed, but speaking to him and seeing him makes me feel better about myself.

“You know, I have started hating myself so much. I don’t even know why I am living. I don’t care whether I die nowadays because life is useless to me. Sometimes I wish I was never born.

“Last week I was depressed, I went to the chemist and explained to them how I was feeling, they recommended me to buy depression pills. I did buy them. Everyday I drink them and they make me feel better. That is why I am quiet these days. They told me that if I don’t control my depression then I might collapse.

“The person that I always talk to is Solomon, because he understands me and he will never judge me. The reason I can’t talk to you about everything and also about my feelings is because you are always shouting. You can’t sit down and listen to another person’s problems without shouting first. I am not expecting you to be a sweet mom, but I am asking you is please listen if I want to talk about serious things. You scare me, that is why I can never be open to you.

“I am sorry for hurting you, for not being the best daughter. Please mom, don’t let me cut my friendship with Solomon because if I do, then I would die. No one will ever understand me. No one will ever make me happy. It will be useless living. I know that you don’t trust foreigners and you also think that Solomon has drugged me. Well he has not drug me and he will never do that.

“Please try to understand what I am asking of you. I know I made you angry seeing me with him. He only came to say goodbye because he is leaving today, Friday at 20h00 to Mozambique for a week. I did not bring him to your house. I can’t stop my friendship with him. I’m sorry.

“I didn’t know that you were going to leave on Friday and come back on Saturday. I had already made plans. I have to go and see a social worker; I have an appointment with her at 09h00 in the morning, because I am not coping at all. I need help. After that my friend has invited me to lunch. So I will be back a bit late. I need to get out a bit and clear my mind. I need a break. Gogo is much better and my brother will stay with her.

“Please try to understand my situation. I know it’s not easy.

“I’m sorry again for hurting you”

That was a letter from a troubled daughter to her mother. Surely pinky wanted to belong somewhere. Maybe this is where I should have also realized that I was playing a role that I would cry foul about in the near future. Pinky was vulnerable as she said then why I didn’t pick it up and try to help her without getting into a relationship with her.

Chapter 5

Our relationship with Pinky became strong. We always sent each other romantic text messages and made calls now and then.

I loved her very much and I could not stop talking about her to my friends. I had stopped flirting with other girls. I changed my sim card to make sure that no one would disturb me.

My relationship with my sister soured as she accused me of destroying her business and having an affair with a co-worker. She kicked me out of her house and I found myself staying at the rural area of Kwa-Mhlanga. The house I stayed in was very dirt. There was no furniture or anything. I stayed with my elder daughter from the first marriage.

Pinky always visited me on that place. She travelled from a comfort zone in the suburbs to the rural area to bring me food and some love. I loved her. My love for her was real.

The good news was that, her father was back in the family. The problem was that he had no voice than his wife. He also wanted to make sure he behaves well to be trusted again.

Pinky became pregnant. I had advised Pinky to tell her mother at the second month of her pregnancy but she refused. On the fifth month of her pregnancy, she disclosed to her parents.

They were very furious. The family was preparing to celebrate Pinky’s 21st birthday. Her father called me. She wanted to know whether Pinky told me that she was pregnant.

‘Yes, she told me.’ I said to him.

“Do you know whose child to be born?” He asked.

‘Yes I know. That will be my child.’ I said.

“Then you must organize your parents in 3 days. We would like to speak to them.” He said as he hung up.

I phoned my sister and my mother to get ready as Pinky’s parents were come. After doing that, Pinky’s mother phoned. She started blaming me of abusing her daughter and she wanted me to show up to her place. She blamed me for not telling her on time that Pinky was pregnant.

‘This woman is not okay.’ I said to myself. She wanted me to go to her place when she was angry like this. I couldn’t do that. My parents were going to meet with them.

Pinky phoned me. He wanted to do abortion. I was very furious. “Don’t do it my love. You might harm yourself. I am the father of the child and I’ll be with you always.” She said nothing and hung up.

I was very frustrated. I had to find a way to stop her from doing abortion. I called her mother. I begged her to stop Pinky from doing abortion. Her mother told me to get off. “I was I there when you were sexing her?” She said.

Pinky continued staying with her parents but one day she had some arguments with her mother again. This time she packed her bags and came to where I was. She told me everything that had happened. She was moving with me. Her mother told her to leave.

She was more than welcome. I would do anything for her. She had a wish though. Her wish was to travel far for sometimes. She wanted to disappear from the sight of her parents. I promised to help her to achieve that. I promised not to leave her. Though I had no money and no longer working, I would do anything she asked me to do.

We stayed together at Kwa-Mhlanga. We were getting used to the place and we had accepted the situation. We had nothing.

One night at about 21h00 Pinky’s cousin phoned her. He wanted to get a direction to our place. He promised to visit the next day. Pinky gave her the directions to our small shabby house. She was expecting to see her cousin.

It was just after 30 minutes she had spoken to her cousin when all of a suddenly there was a big knock at the door.

“Open the door!” said the man who was knocking at the door.

‘Who are you?’ I asked.

“The police!” he responded.

I woke up and dressed up then opened the door. More than ten police men and women stormed into our small room.

They pulled me left and right. “Where is Pinky?” They asked. “Are you Pinky?” They said to Pinky. “Let’s go. Your mother is here.”

They pulled me aside. “Where is your ID?” one policeman asked.

I searched my bags and gave it to them. Pinky’s mother came in. “Oh my child.” She said while trying to hug her daughter.

“Don’t child, child me!” retaliated Pinky.

Pinky was crying. “Go away!” she said to the police.

“No we are going with you.” They answered back.

I was now arguing with Pinky’s mother. ‘This police are for everyone. Don’t think are only yours. Don’t lie to them because it will turn against you one.’ I said.

“I told you Solomon that I will make your life miserable,” she said.

Of course she was making my life miserable. Her husband was standing by the door and he had nothing to say. Pinky’s mother was speaking all sorts of lies.

“Our culture does not allow you to stay with our child when you are not married. You will be deported. You don’t have an ID.” She said.

Some of the police could not buy her story. They were against what other police were doing to me. Pinky was an adult and she came to me on her own. Pinky’s mother lied to them that I abducted her daughter and I was an illegal immigrant. They found nothing wrong with me.

The police pulled Pinky very rough. I came to the police who pulled her and pulled him away from Pinky.

“She is pregnant! Don’t pull her that way?” I said to them.

They cam in a big group and pushed me away from Pinky. Pinky fainted and they carried her to the car. A certain woman who is a friend to Pinky’s mother accused me of bewitching Pinky. ‘This woman. She also bought her friends lies’. I thought to myself.

In total the police who came to my house were more than 15 with seven police cars. Some police were carrying short guns and one carrying an AK47. They were very sure that I abducted Pinky as it was reported.

They were disappointed to find none of what they were told I had in my possession. They took with them Pinky and left me. I was angry but there was noting I could do. The next day I went to the Kwa-Mhlanga police station to open a case of harassment against the police and against Pinky’s mother.

The following is the statement that I gave the police at Kwa-Mhlanga Police Station;

“1
“I Solomon Stengile states under in English

“2
“I am the black male with ID N0 7607315576087 residing at Mountain view stand n0 2102 zone 1 with tel n0 076 896 7139. I am unemployed but I’m volunteering at ACODEP-CANADA ngo. Tel n0 001 647 893 9005 under Rev D Mokwe.

“3
“On Saturday 2008-01-05 at about 21:22 and 22:20 Mrs. Elizabeth Mabuza, the mother of my girlfriend Pinky Mabuza ID n0 8612210553081 came to my house with her husband, friend, son of a friend by the name of Mcolisi. They were accompanied by police cars with more than 12 police men and women.

“4
“When they arrived, they surrounded my yard and stormed in my room in numbers. Some were armed with pistols. “We are looking for a kwerekwere who abducted Pinky Mabuza.” They stated pulling me and my girlfriend rough. They kicked me on the right buttock and one pushed me to the wall they threatened to beat us. They said that I kidnapped her, bu Pinky denied. Mrs. Elizabeth started calling me names (kwerekwere, child soldier, wizard). At the end the police demanded my ID as a kwerekwere. I gave them. After I gave them they look it and gave it back to me

“5
“My girlfriend collapsed, the police took her to hospital and left me. They did not arrest me, why? As a kidnapper I was supposed to be arrested. As an Illegal immigrant I was supposed to be arrested.

“6
“How did my girlfriend came to be with me. I have been in love with her since 19 February 2007. Her mother disapproved our relationship from the beginning.

“7
“Now on 14 December 2007, my girlfriend who is 5 month pregnant was forced by her mother Mrs. Elizabeth Mabuza to write abn affidavit that she was coming to her boyfriend Solomon Stengile of stand n0 2102, zone 1 Mountain View. She did that and her mother could not give her a copy. My witness is Pinky and a police woman at a police station in Montana where she made the affidavit. The police is Lebo at tel:P 012 543 8800 or cell 083 247 2144.

“8
“After that she left home and came to stay with me. She had never called her, but sent friends to call her and tell her things that made her cry; until on 05/01/2008 when she came with police in my house.

“9
“I did not give anyone permission come to my house without my concern or to do anything to my house or to assault me or to call me with names. So I request further police investigation in this matter because I was humiliated, falsely accused as a kidnapper and Illegal immigrant and assaulted by police.

“Signature
“08/01/08”

I then went to Pinky’s place on the following day. That was 9th January 2007. We met by the nearby filling Station, then we decided to go to Sinoville police station for her to make an affidavit of what the police did at Kwa-Mhlanga. I wanted more paperwork that will make me have Pinky’s mother behind the bars. I hated her like a devil. The following was Pinky’s affidavit:

Surname: Mabuza
Title: Miss
Race: African
First Name: Pinky
Sex: F
ID:8612210553081
Date of birth: 1986-12-21
Age: 21
Home address: 405 Louise Rive St
Tel: 012 548 3992 / 076 896 7139

“On the 14 December 2007, I was forced to write an affidavit by my mother Elizabeth Mabuza sating that I am moving in with my boyfriend Solomon stengile of stand 2102, Zone 1, mountain View, Kwa-Mhlanga. I did as she said. I requested a copy of the affidavit but she could not give it to me. My mother did not throw me out of her house. I moved on my will because I am pregnant. Solomon is the father of the child I am carrying. My witness is the police by the name of Lebo at Sinoville police station. (Her contact: (012) 543 8800, Cel: 083 247 2144). I then moved in with Solomon. I moved out because I was stressed at home and I did not want to be humiliated any longer.

“On 05/01/2008 at about 21:22 and 22:22 my mother accompanied by her friend Rose, her son Mxolisi, my father and a crew of police men and women of about more 12 in number; storm4ed in my boyfriend’s house and demanded for me whom they claimed, I was abducted and demanded for a “kwerekwere”. I started crying and tried to explain how I came to stay with Solomon. They could not give me a chance to explain my side of the story. They kept on saying that I was abducted and Solomon was kwerekwere with no legal documents. The police started pulling me left and right, while I was arguing with my mother, and crying. I wanted them to live me alone, but they could not listen. The police were pulling me very rough and they did not care that I am pregnant. From there, I collapsed and woke up on the way to the hospital.

“I am above 18 years and I feel that I can make my own decisions without my mother’s consent.

“Signed by Pinky and stamped by Sinoville police station.”

After that I left to Kwa-Mhlanga where I stayed. I gave Pinky some pocket money.

I wanted to leave and go and stay in Johannesburg with a friend of mine. I didn’t want anything with Pinky. My life was miserable because of her. I tried phoning her place but her house telephone was disconnected. Her mobile phone had remained behind with me.

I managed to speak to her mother for some few occasions but she chose to insult me over the phone. I also wrote a letter to Pinky’s mother after the incident which read as followed;

“06/01/08.

“Dear Mrs. Elizabeth Mabuza

“I now get the point. Please put it in black and white. That will make me decide well on your proposal.

“I feel you must know this; I love Pinky a lot. I love her for many reasons. I don’t care about her pats; I just love her. She also careless about my cruel past.

“Mrs. Mabuza; If you hate me because you think I broke Pinky’s virginity; then you are mistaken. If you hate me because you think I am the baddest man close to your daughter; then you are wrong. If you hate me because I am poor; that’s a big mistake. If you hate me because I owe Pinky; that’s not fair. If you hate because I made her pregnant; then you are not fair.

“Pinky had her first sexual intercourse at age 15 / 16. She had sexual intercourse with at least 3 men including Godfrey you loved to be Pinky’s boyfriend. According to her I am the fourth man.

“I might have been a child soldier in the past, but that does not qualify me to be a kidnaper and an illegal immigrant. I was rehabilitated for 7 years. Bad guys - are your trusted friends like Stanly of Jet. He seduced your daughter while being a married man and smoked cigarettes with her.

“I might be poor and live in Marabastad as you said. God is the only determiner of my destiny. We do not know what the future holds for us, but we know who holds the future. Your luxury life you bosted about came after years of hardship and hardwork. Look back where you come from.

“One day I’ll pay you every cent owed to Pinky. Be patient.

“Pinky’s pregnancy was planed. The child to be born was not a mistake. You let police pulled your pregnant daughter so rough, and always cause stress for her thinking she might lose the child. That’s a mistake. I pray for the child; for he/she is expected.

“Word of Advice

“Pinky’s up bringing or childhood was full of challenges like mine. Unfortunately, you don’t understand her side of the story. For 7 years she was without a father. She came across different men whom you introduced as fathers to her, but that provoked her feelings. I might not know everything but some how you messed as parents and you owe her an apology.

“Distressed
“Solomon Mondlane
“06/01/08

“Section B

“The future of Pinky is in your hands. You can choose a man for her, but you cannot guarantee an everlasting love. You can choose for her rich men with triple c status, but you can’t ensure her happiness. You can choose a true South African man for her, but consider her own decisions.

“You also made decisions in your life, and your decisions (Bad or good) should not channel you to ditact on Pinky. Can you think of it? You married a South African man, but you stayed without him for 7 years. Today he is back, but you fear to marry him. Can you tell me Ndebele men are bad than Mozambicans? No! A person acts as a prson in spite of his/her culture and background.

“Don’t correct your past mistakes by harassing me and Pinky. You were once in love with a so called Millionaire in front of your teenage daughter; you slept with him in your house, the same bed you share today with Mr. Mabuza, you were at one stage pregnant not by Mr. Mabuza, you did all this in front of your teenage girl. Did you ever explained to her why? Did you ever told Mr. Mabuza or the church leader? The choices you made were yours.”

I sent the letter and attached the manuscript I dedicated to Pinky entitled “My Precious Love.” I sent it to the postal address of Pinky’s mother.

Then I started organizing myself. I wanted to go to Johannesburg to a friend to restart my life. I had moved to Pretoria to get some money. The same day I had to go back to Kwa-Mhlanga to sort out the issue of my daughter. When I came back I found Pinky waiting for me by the neighbour’s house where my daughter stayed. I was angry. I was trying to forget about Pinky, there she was waiting for me. This time she left home in the absence of her mother. Her grandmother wished her well.

When I saw I did not know what I had to do. She was back again. I was scared of the police. I thought they would come back again. This time I thought they would kill me. I had to do something. The only thing was to take Pinky with me to Mozambique, my father’s country. We had to do things fast.

We moved to Pretoria. In Pretoria we applied for a protection order at the police station. We also booked for a marriage date. We agreed that we had to get married to get rid of Pinky’s mother.

Pinky also went for a check at the clinic. This time she was suffering from abdomen pain. I accompanied her to the clinic at Folang in Pretoria West. That was the 13th February 2008. She had to under go some tests and it was discovered that she had some STIs. I was also advised to take treatment with her because chances were that I might have been infected.

I agreed to take the treatment that was prescribed to us. The nurse advised us to come for the HIV test the next day. Pinky was so scared. I was but I had to be strong and give hope to the situation we faced with.

I did not sleep that day. I started thinking that the first day I had sex with Pinky; she had some pimples on her private parts. I chose to ignore suspecting that those were signs of some sort of STIs. She had been saying that in her past relationships she used condoms. I believed her and it didn’t matter to me because I was still not involved with her when she got those STIs. I vowed to support and not to question her. I loved her and she loved me.

On 14 February 2008 we returned to the same clinic. What was supposed to a very romantic day of our lives turned to be a day of sorrow and hopelessness. It was a Valentines Day. We did not talk much on that day except giving one another hope. Together we went for a pre-counseling interview. Pinky was heavily pregnant and I had to be there to give her my full support in case the results were negative. I didn’t want her to lose hope, and I didn’t want her to lose the child either.

Pinky was the first one to take the blood samples and I followed. After some blood samples were taken we waited outside for almost one hour for the results. I always spoke some positive words of encouragement to Pinky. I gave her hope. She was so scared.

We were called in both of us. The nurse wanted to know whether we would want to have our results made known to both of us at the same time. We agreed.

“Solomon, your results says you are negative and Pinky yours says you are HIV positive.” The nurse said as she gave us the results. Pinky was shivering. I came closer to her; I hugged her and I whispered, ‘I love you.’

“Does this mean I came with this…?” Pinky wanted to know from the nurse.

“I did not say that. What I’m saying is what the results are telling us.” Pinky was in tears.

‘Love I’m here with you. We will walk this journey together.’ I said trying to comfort her.

As we walked out of the hospital, I held her hand very tight and we were not speaking to one another. We walked some few metres away from the clinic and I started talking.

“Pinky, no matter what I am here. I am here and I will never leave you.” I said to her.

“Love, what must I do?” She asked.

‘Nothing my love; lets go home and you must know that you have my full support.’ I said.

I had a brother who was staying around that area, not far from the clinic. I decided that we go there and have a rest, and then we would move home. I cancelled all my activities for the day to be with her. I knew she was going through hell and she needed y support.

We spent the whole day at my brother’s place. She distanced herself from any discussions by the people who were in the house. She was troubled. We left very late that day back home to face the real test of our life.

We did not cook on that day and we did not eat either. We lay on the bed face each other and the only word from me, ‘I love you.’

By mid-night the news of my girlfriend’s status took its toll in me. I was so scared though I did not want to show to her. I went outside and sat by the door step and started thinking. ‘If only her parents knew what her child was going through, they would not hate me the way they did.’ I thought to myself. I had to be strong; I had to take a decision of my life time.

For me to be able to fully support her I had to marry her. I had to take vows of a husband, but again I was not sure whether to marry her without the concern of their family. ‘No, we are not going to sign any marriage documentation without her parents’ concerns. In future it will cause a problem.’ I thought to myself.

Though we had made an appointment, we would live to Mozambique without getting married. Marriage to me was my full commitment to her. I had to make vows of a husband to her and she had to do the same.

Marriage to me was not the signing of the documents and celebrations. Marriage to me was my commitment to her. We had already declared ourselves husband and wife during our first day of sexual intercourse.

I even stated my understanding of marriage to the 42 page manuscript entitled, “My Precious Love” which I dedicated to Pinky. According to my understanding, ‘Sex at your first day of your relationship with someone you consider to be your life time partner is not a sin. If you have prayed to God for a right partner, trust Him in that particular moment that He provided you with is a rightful partner. Never doubt God. God has plans for all His ordained children.

‘My god is a God of covenants. Long in the old testaments, most people made their covenants with god by slaughtering an animal. Blood had to spill as a fulfillment of the covenant. Jesus had to sacrifice His blood to fulfill the covenant of the forgiveness of sins. This means the intimacy of a male and female means it is a blessed marriage in God’s presence, before signing the legal documents of this world and making celebrations. ‘

This gave me encouragement to support Pinky as a wife for we were married. No matter what I vowed to stand by her. I went back to the house. I held her hand and I looked direct in her eyes, ‘I Solomon Mondlane take you Pinky Mabuza to be my wedded wife; to have and to hold; in sickness and in health. Till death do us apart. This is my life time commitment to you. I love you LaMabuza.’ I said with sincerity as a husband to her before God.

She looked at me and said, “I Pinky Mabuza, take you Solomon Mondlane to be my wedded husband; to have and to hold; in sickness and in health. Till death do us apart. This is my life time commitment to you. I love you Mondlane.” She said. I believed her and we started kissing.

We made love. She wanted us to use a condom, I refused. I wanted to show her that we were in it together. I did not want her to feel isolated. She begged me not to but I told her, I’ll go with her wherever she goes. We ended up not using a condom. I loved her, and I felt it. ‘She is my wedded wife.’ I said to myself. We would sign and celebrate our marriage once Pinky’s parents accept me back in the family fold.

Pinky also converted to my religion of Christianity. We had hope in Jesus Christ and we prayed and read the bible everyday. We had hope and we love each other. I dreamt of a day her parents would accept me and accept that she was a Christian, but for now we had to move out of the country and fulfill her dream.

Time was against us. I sold my bed and hi-fi to get money for the bus ticket. We bought a bus ticket to Maputo. Pinky was happy. It was her wish to get out of the country so that her parents may value her. I had no choice.

I knew we were facing a huge challenge ahead of us. We had to find a way to survive in a foreign land. It was also foreign to me because I never lived in Mozambique, but I had hopes that God would help us through.

Chapter 6

We were well received by friends in Mozambique. Pinky was pregnant and my friends did everything to make her happy. They bought her anything she wanted.Things were not easy though but we hoped I would find something to do. I was fortunate that there was a pastor in Canada who was always sending me money, Pastor Daniel Mokwe. We managed to survive on that.

I also advised Pinky to send a text message to her mother in South Africa and inform her that she was in Maputo. Instead she called her. They spoke and the last word Pinky’s mother said was, “May God bless.”

On the 30th April 2008, Pinky gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Gracious Elizabeth. Elizabeth was the name of Pinky’s mother. I was very happy, but I was the only one who visited her at the hospital. I sent text messages to all the family and friends about our new born baby girl.

I sent one text message to Pinky’s mother. ‘Hello mama. God has blessed us with a beautiful baby girl, and her name is Elizabeth.’

I sent another to Pinky’s father, ‘Hello papa. God has blessed us with a beautiful baby girl, her name is Elizabeth.’

Our child was beautiful. Pinky’s mother called her to wish her all the best and congratulated her.

We did not have it easy in Maputo. Pinky was inexperienced. I had to look after the child. I had to bath the baby, napkin her and feed her. I had to wash for both the baby and Pinky. I sometimes cried when I started thinking about Pinky’s family. Her mother is alive and could have been helping.

We stayed in Maputo for at least 3 weeks after the birth of the baby. Life was not easy. We decided to leave to Swaziland. We were also joined by the 2 children from my previous relationship. They all had no passports. We had to cross via the fence illegal. With the help of my sister, we managed to enter Swaziland.

Things became worse in Swaziland. We had to sell everything for the child to get milk. She was not breast feeding because Pinky is HIV positive. Sometimes we would go days without eating anything. Sometimes we would go house to house begging for food. I had to ask for my elder daughter to stay with a certain family because we could not afford to have enough food for all of us.

It was real difficult for us; but we had hope. In Swaziland, Mbabane where we were based, we started having some home cells. I and pinky lead those home cells in 3 different home in a week. Pinky was well known as Mrs. Mondlane. We praised the lord even when we had nothing in the house. Some fellow Christians always gave us some to eat.

We stayed in Swaziland for months. We cooked by firewood outside, drank river water and fetched firewood from far. It was not easy for us, but I was ready to stay in those conditions as long as pinky wanted so that she could stay away from her family long enough.

I also started volunteering with the local non governmental organisation with the hope of getting employed. Pinky could not cope with the situation. I had to do everything for her before going to work with the organization. I would work up early in the morning to fetch firewood; make fire and cook for them. I would wash and clean the house for her. I would fetch water. She couldn’t do anything. That was my everyday house chores before leaving to town to try and convince people to give us mealie meal.

I tried begging Pinky to call her mother. She did not want anything to do with her parents. She hated them and she was not expecting them to help her. Somewhere in the month of June, Pinky sent her mother a birthday wish. Her mother called back. They talked and she promised to send Pinky money for the baby which she did. I was very happy. I told Pinky that it was the beginning of reconciliation.

Months went by. We stayed in Swaziland in difficult situations. My second born child and Pinky’s baby became sick of diarrhea. My second born recovered but the baby became very sick. We had been up and down the hospital but she could not get better. The doctors advised Pinky to breast feed the baby even if she is HIV positive. I advised Pinky not. Pinky cried day and night for her child.

I told her to call her parents and ask for help, but she did not want her parents to know that she was going through hell. She had pride in herself. One day Gracious became very sick. She had lost all the water in her body. Her body was pale. She breathed very difficult. As we arrived in hospital some other nurses advised us to give the baby some HRVs. Other nurses commented saying that our child would not live to see the next day. Pinky cried. She loved her child than anything in this world. That was something precious she owned in her life. Her baby was the only person who brought a smile in her face.

She couldn’t even hold the child. I called Pinky aside and said to her, “Pinky, lift your eyes to the mountains. That is where your help comes from.” She was crying but I could not agree with the nurses.

A Nigerian Doctor who worked at the Mbabane hospital came in. He is the one who gave us hope. He just prescribed to us sugar and salt mixture. He advised us to give the child the mixture for the whole night. He told us that God willingly the child will survive. We were told to bring her back in the morning once she had recovered.

As we arrived in the house, I boiled the water while the child was lying on the bed. Pinky was afraid of the child. The top of the child head had gone deep in the skull. She was breathing very slowly. I started praying, “God, if you have borrowed us this child take her now, but if you want her to live for us, heal her in the name of Jesus. Lord if you heal her, we will bring her under your house and she will serve you. Amen”

Yes, there was hope after that short prayer. We did not sleep as we were feeding the baby the water they gave us. In the early hours of the next day the baby looked like the old Gracious we know. We started praising God. She could smile, her complexion was normal. Yes, she had made it. ‘Jesus is the Lord!’ I shouted.

Early in the morning we took her to hospital. We found the same Doctor who was very much happy to see the baby the way she was. He told us that she was healed. He prescribed medicine for her and advised Pinky to breast feed her. I stood against the Doctor’s advice. Even when Pinky wanted to, I stood against the Doctor’s advice. Gracious had her own life, and Pink had her own. The child had to be given a chance to live not to be infected of HIV/AIDS.

The baby got well and we were happy again until Tracy, my second born collapsed one day. We took her to hospital but the nurses were on strike. We took Tracy back home and I prayed the same prayer I prayed when Gracious was sick. , “God, if you have borrowed us this child take her now, but if you want her to live for us, heal her in the name of Jesus. Lord if you heal her, we will bring her under your house and she will serve you. Amen”

Tracy was healed. We served God with all our hearts in spite of the situation we lived in. Not long, we joined a local church called Healing place Church. I was offered work to mentor children. Things started getting better as we had friends who always brought food for us and for the baby.

I worked for 2 months then we were moved back to Mozambique to work for the same organization we worked for in Swaziland. We were promised all sort of good life by the organization. Pinky decided to visit home as her parents requested. They wanted to see Gracious who was 7 months old by then. She had grown and she had a beautiful smile. It was December of 2008 when Pinky left for home.

Pinky was well welcomed at home. Her parents were happy to see the child. Pinky’s grandmother was also very happy to see the Gracious who was named after her. Pinky called me in Mozambique to tell me how happy she was to be back home. Her mother, her father, her brother and grandmother all welcomed her.

I was very happy too and for the first time I spoke to Pinky’s mother who said she was happy to see Gracious. She said Gracious was always smiling and eating a lot. According to Pinky, her parents were spoiling the baby. I was very happy.

Back in Mozambique things were not going well. I had misunderstanding with the boss. Pinky came back without Gracious to help sort out the problem. She then returned back home. While she was at home she sent me a text message telling me that her parents requested to remain with Gracious. They requested us to help them to pay for the person who would look after her.

I agreed and I was happy that the parents had accepted. Pinky came back to Mozambique, but the misunderstanding between me and the bosses worsen until I was fired. I and Pinky were depressed and we decided to drink like nobody’s business. We drank until the morning of the next day. As I wanted to take back my second born to her biological mother, Pinky started insulting me. We were all drunk. She said I was useless and she compared me to her former boyfriends who were well employed and making a lot of money. She spoke many things for almost an hour. I got angry and I started hitting her.

I was very angry and did not want anything with Pinky. It was until the sunset that we calmed down. Pinky wanted to come home and I wanted to remain in Mozambique. She begged me. I said, ‘You will not love me the way you use to.’

“No, Solomon I still love you and I will never turn my back against you.” She said.

We prepared to leave the following day with my second born daughter. My elder daughter had remained in Swaziland. We did not have enough money, but it was enough to take us to Johannesburg.

We left Mozambique. We decided to leave Tracy with the family by the body while we were to travel to Johannesburg to an old friend. Our friend welcomed us, but there were many challenges as he always had some arguments with the wife. We stayed for some few weeks and before Christmas my wife decided to leave for home. I had to find a place by the shelter where they accommodate street kids.

Pinky was welcome home and I was also invited to come and see the parents for the first time. I last saw them when they came with police at Kwa-Mhlanga. I also got a place to stay and asked Pinky to join me. Her parents agreed and Tracy my second born and my first born Connie joined us. The family was back together.

Chapter 7

The family invited me for a New Year celebration. That was the first time I met them after a long time. I was welcomed and we celebrated together. I was also invited to join them to their church. I went with them even if I did not like it for they worship a person. The family wanted me to be the member of the church but I could not.

The family called me one day to discuss the way they want me and their daughter to live. It was I, Pinky’s parents and Pinky herself.

Mr. Mabuza wanted to know what I was doing. Then he said, they have no problem with Pinky moving in with me, but she would have to come every weekend to see her daughter at home. They said if we ever have a problem, we especially must call and let them know. I had never called them. Pinky decided to come to my place on weekends instead. I was living in the rural area of Hamanskraal. I then moved to town and she promised to spend much time with us in town.

One day she told me that, her parents needed R50 000.00 for her to leave home. She said they want her to come and stay with me once I’m well off. She can not stay where I stay because I’m struggling. She said her parents do not want to see her and the child suffering because they suffered a lot in Swaziland and Mozambique.

This angered me. ‘My child is my.’ I said to Pinky. ‘Even if I’m suffering my child should stay with me.’ I said. Pinky started being against whatever I said, she also emphasized that at home they now needed R80 000.00 for lobola. I started suspecting that Pinky is destroying her relationship with me to please the parents.

We started having arguments with Pinky and she told me how much she hated my two children from my previous marriage. Pinky visited now and then claiming that her parents were against us staying without getting married. I reminded Pinky of our marriage. She told me to get off. ”That was nor marriage.” She said. “Our parents want you to pay R80 000.00 for lobola and marry me.

I was angry with Pinky. She used me to get back to her parents. Now she could not even remember her vows. I started not to trust her. I was also worried that she did not tell her parents about her status. I always begged her to tell them so that she may get support from them. She did not want to tell them. I was afraid that one day she might lie to them saying I infected them. We always had arguments with Pinky. Sometimes she would come home and leave without reasons in a very moody condition. We argued over the phone always. One day things got out of hand as we insulted each other with text messages. I also demanded her to tell her parents about her status but she begged me not to.

I then requested her to tell her parents that I would love to meet them. The next day she told me that her parents said they would not meet with me because it is against their culture. I was surprised. One moment they met with me and another moment their culture stood against them. These were Pinky’s parents of old. They have started with their manipulation. They managed to register my child by their surname and now they are trying to block me from getting access to Pinky and my daughter.

I had written many text messages insulting Pinky with certain things she new. She also responded very rude. She was not the Pinky I knew. She told me that my daughter was a Mabuza not a Mondlane. That hurt me when I remember how I suffered with the child. It was not the same Pinky who once wrote on chapter 11 of our romantic manuscript 2 and ½ years ago entitled “My Precious love.” She wrote;

“My Precious love – destiny

“by Pinky

“I have never been this happy in my life. I might still be going through some hardships in my life, but I am always happy because I know that there is someone out there who cares about me and who loves me dearly. The peason I am talking about is my fiancé, Solomon.

“This man changed my life completely. I met him at a point where I did not have any hope in life. I felt so useless and unappreciated. He just knows how to say the right words.

“Solomon is an ever-laughing person, who respects, loves and cares for other people. He would sacrifice anything, just to help another human being. He has a welcoming heart and he is also so helpful. He is always himself and never pretends to be someone else.

“Solomon taught me one important thing that I should keep in life, ‘Pinky, you must always tell yourself that; theirs is no better person than yourself.’ He said.

“I feel so free when I am around him, I feel as though I cam tell him anything and I know that he will never judge me.

“One thing I know about Solomon is that he hates to be described and claims that no one knows him. He does not want someone to tell him about himself because he knows himself.

“The reason why I say, I have never been happier in my life is because I have never found someone like Solomon.

“My past relationship were not as interesting, fun, motivating and crazy like I m now. I was always treated like a ‘trophy girlfriend.’ The reason I am saying this is because whenever I wanted to go out with them or just wanted to see them, they would be too busy to meet with me. They only came to see me when they wanted to see me, in their own time, not on my own time.

“I have a bad reputation of guys just leaving me without telling me where they are off to. They would leave from province to province without even saying goodbye Pinky or it is over between us Pinky.

“Coming to think of it, I am not surprised now why they all left without saying goodbye. My father also did the very same thing. He left my mother, my little brother and myself without saying goodbye. He has created a pattern in my life.

“I am now grateful that they all left me, because I was not going to find my Mr. Right. The relationship that I am in now is the longest relationship ever. Normally I would date a guy for at least three months and the shortest time I have dated a guy was for two weeks.

“I have gone through so many challenges in my life. It all started in the year 2000 when my father burnt down our home. Early 2001, he also started abusing my mother emotionally and physically. I remember one night, he beaten my mother so bad, she landed up in hospital; she had a blue eye. Her eye almost popped out. When my father left we were struggling at home. He had left my mother with so many needs.

“I hated my father so much; I actually never thought that I would ever forgive him. He has been gone for seven years in a row and we had not seen him.

“Even if we were having problems at home, I always stayed strong for my mother, little brother and my grandmother. People were laughing at us, saying that we are living in a burnt house, we do not have anything, or we are so poor, but I always kept my head up. I always had self confidence, even though I was not wearing expensive and labeled clothes like them. I wanted to prove to this world that nothing beats the power of God.

“In 2003, I started doing modeling because I loved it with all my heart. It was one of my favourite hobbies. Everything was going well for me. I was winning all my competitions. I appeared in the city press newspaper as a ‘soccer babe’. I was also on morning live in 2004 on the unveiling of a brand new grand prix.

“I met Solomon at a college where I was attending. I was studying travel and tourism and also computer packages. I met him in one of the computer classes in mid June 2006. I was typing something on the computer and he was also doing something on the other computer. We were sitting next to each other; by the way, he was a lecture, but not my lecture. We started talking and ended up telling him about my past.

“I also told him that I hated my father and I do not think I would ever forgive him. He looked at me and said, “Are you sure? This man is your father, and blood is thicker than water.” Our conversation carried on and he also told me a bit about his past.

“I had to go away from college for a whole month. When I came back, one of my friends asked me, ‘Do you remember that lecture that you were talking to in the computer room, and you said, he seemed like a nice person?”

“I said, ‘Yes.’ She told me that Solomon had started his own business and had left this college. She also said that we should go and visit him some time. I was not very keen at going to visit because I hardly new him even though we had talked for sometime. I said, ‘Yes’ to my friend because I did not want to disappoint her.

“We visited him and had a great time. The second time we also visited him, and still had great time. I started to get use to him. He was also helping us with our assignments.

“This one time I was in town, so I decided to go back check on him and see how he was doing. I got there and we talked for a while and he told me that he was going out of town and he did not know who to leave to take care of his business. I volunteered to help him out for a week while he was gone, but I asked him money for transport. He just agreed.

“It was so amazing because we hardly knew each other and I have only visited him three times, but he trusted me and I also trusted him.

“I looked up to him as a good friend and nothing more. That is how I started working for Solomon and became his ‘personal assistant.’

“He was very friendly, kind and sweet person who loved all his staff members. Every morning, where never he would come to work, he would start our day with hugs and huge smile. He made everybody feel accepted, even though you would think that you do not fit well with a group of people, he would make you fit in and enjoy being around him.

“19 February 2007, the day I will never forget. It started of as a normal day, but ended up as a special, remarkable and romantic day.

“Solomon and I were very close at work, not romantically, but as close as friends. He would tell me everything about his life. He also called everyday, especially if something good or bad has happened.

“On that day, it was the afternoon; we were waiting by the steps. Solomon turned to face me. He looked at me with those eyes, not the eyes that you would look at your PA. I also felt the connection between us. It was like he stole my heart with his eyes. He attempted to kiss me and I pulled away a bit. He came close and gave me a hug. He kissed me on the neck and looked at me in my eyes. Oh boy! I was taken he then kisses me on my lips and I responded. The kiss was so hypnotic. I felt I was on cloud nine, but I pulled back; reality hit in.

“I said to him, ‘we can’t because you are my boss, sorry I have to go.’ He pulled me and said, ‘oh, no we need to talk about this and finish right now.’ He pulled me up the stairs by the corner. We started kissing.

“’Pinky love me” he begged. I just kissed him as though there was no tomorrow. That is how I fell in love with my boss.

“We were so in love, like no ones business. On 12 March 2007, something remarkable happened. Something I have never dreamt of so soon. It was a very busy day. I was busy faxing documents to different companies. Solomon was busy on the computer.

“Solomon called out my name, ‘Pinky, you know that I love you.’ He said. I responded, ‘yes I do and I love you too.’ He was so serious; I had never seen Solomon so serious before. We were one metre apart. He popped the question. ‘Pinky, will you marry me.’ He said. I was very shocked and surprised. I thought he was joking because he is forever joking. I responded, ‘yes, I would love to marry you.’

“Solomon jumped and came straight to me and he kissed me and said, ‘Thank you Pinky, thank you, you don’t know how happy I am.

“He ran to the next office and told his friends that we had just engaged. He also called one of his friends in Johannesburg to tell her that he is engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world.

“His two sisters came and he also told them. Solomon was over the moon. I was still shocked. To be honest, I did not even know what was going on. It took a while for me to digest what had just happened. Our love will always remain strong no matter what. We are always beside each other. We even started planning for our wedding, but verbally.

“To day, our love is stronger than yesterday. We love each other more than anything. We call each other almost everyday, sms each other everyday. If we do not have enough airtime, we send each other free ‘Please call me’, or we just buzz one another, which mean ‘hey love, I hope you are doing well. I miss you so much. Take care and I love you lots.’

“When Solomon told me that he was writing a book about our love life, I thought that he was joking. He sent me an sms message, ‘…the title of the book is ‘My Precious Love. ‘ I did not realize that he loved me so much. Actually this book is dedicated to us, our love. Solomon is my destiny.

“I visited him at his place as usually. He showed me the script he had started writing. He read it to me and I was so shocked. Usually I know that a lot of men do not remember the important dates like anniversaries and etc; but Solomon remembered everything from A-Z. When I read the script, I was shocked and I fell in love with him all over again.

“I consider myself as the luckiest young lady on this planet earth. He walked me to town. On the way before the robots, he picked me up in front of everybody and crossed the road with me. He claimed he was not romantic, but he is more than romantic.

“Basically, Solomon and I are very happy and we would love to share our happiness and our love with everyone out there.

“You know what? My dream in life is to empower a group of teenagers out there, so that whatever they might be going through, they are not alone. They should believe in themselves and keep their confidence.

“Life is like a book with many different chapters. Some chapters might tell of tragedy, others of triumph. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, and others are intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Life might have its difficult moments, but we should carry on living and not giving up hope, because you do not know what lies ahead of you.

“A challenge in life is part of a training to prepare you for the future. We all have to learn from our mistakes in order to become a better person and to grow.”

Chapter 8

Pinky has changed. She was dancing to her parents tune while hurting me with insults. Who is Pinky? Does this mean she was using me to get respect from her parents? What about my lost time? Today parents can not speak to me. They hide behind culture like they use to. Pinky does not even want to be reminded about the past.

My heart is aching. The following are text messages that followed after her parents refused to meet me. I wanted to tell them about Pinky’s status and the vows we made. I wanted to tell them that the R80 000.00 was not reasonable. They had to know that Pinky is my wife; I hate Pinky’s mother. The husband has no voice, but she is the one who can manipulate ones life. They are not even married themselves and they want me to stay away from my wife;

“Dear my parents I’m disappointed that I will not meet u as Pinky explained to me. My parents I wanted to confess to you our mistakes and for you to know who we are. We have lived a life of lies with Pinky. We presented a wrong message to people and worse to you as parents.”

I sent the text message, they did not respond. I wrote another one;

“My parents I’m sorry. She was just a child who need attention; she wanted to be loved and to be understood; she wanted to be given attention but all dat was not possible. I thot I could give happiness and love. I played a role of a parent to her; a role of a father and husband to her. I accepted her the way she was. She was a smoker, a drinker and she was infected of hiv/aids and stis. I overlooked all these. I vowed to her the vows of a husband. ‘in better or worse; in life or in death.’ Yes I accepted her with her status and the life she had lived b4. her parents were not there when she needed them de most, bt I was there. I taut her to bath the baby and to dress it. I took her away from parents sie as she wanted for her to earn respect. I married her with my whole heart. Today it means nothing to them or to her. Today I’m a boyfriend not a husband. This is what life is teaching me.”

They did not respond. I sent another one;

“I still need Pinky by my side; to love and to support. My request is for u my parents to see us both as yo children and advice equally. I apologize to send u this message so late my parents. We are in crisis and u need to help us. I accept, Pinky was vulnerable but I did not see dat because I was blinded by love. But I’m prepared to b true to her all my life. Dats why I’m telling u her status so dat we can all support her as loved ones. We use to lie abt everything bt not with hiv/aids. I love her de way she is. I have been with here since she tested hiv positive on 14 feb 2008 folang clinic in pta. I supported her. It was hard but I supported her. Dat’s how much I love her.”

They did not respond. These parents are not human. Not even when they hear the news that their daughter is hiv positive. They don’t care about my sacrifices; the role I played as boyfriend as they say today; assuming a role of a husband when they were they ignoring their daughter.

Fuck them; this woman is a bitch!

I sent another one. This time to Pinky;

Raising a girl child

2009-09-22T05:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks My Love for another chance. I could not have survived.

17 Years Ago

2009-07-07T03:01:00.000-07:00

It was back in 1992 when I was an amature boxer in Swaziland (Bantam weight division).

Thank you Lord

2009-06-30T02:04:00.000-07:00

Big Sister, Connie

Tracy

Nanette

Me and my mother

I would like to thank my parents for bringing me to this world, and taking care of me; Vicente Mondlane and Verah Stengile Mbewu.

I’d like to thank God the Almighty for being with me through hard and easy times. I’ll serve Him and worship Him forever.

Happy Birthday Connie

2009-06-11T07:35:00.001-07:00

CONSTANCE MONDLANE

2009-06-02T02:39:00.000-07:00

I have come accross this picture of Connie when she was 3 years old. I can't believe that years have moved thus fast. On 11 June it's her birth and she will be turning 9. I love you Tracy.

Connie

Connie was born on the 11 of June 2000. It was exactly 10 am in Matola, Cinema 700 Clinic in Mozambique. She is the first born of my three daughters.

Connie is a very intelligent young girl who had faced many challenges and overcame them all in her own way. She had moved from one school to another, but she has never disappointed us in her school results.

She is also positive in life, and she always says, “Everything will be right one day.”

Connie speaks many languages. She speaks English, Siswati, Portuguese, Tshwana, Shangaan and Zulu.

Connie likes singing and dancing.

On 11 June it is her birthday and. She will be turning 9 years. I am happy for my girl as she grow to be a big girl.

I pray for all the blessings in the world. I pray that she may fear the Lord God as He gives this family strength.

I pray that God may bless her coming in and going out.

We love you Connie.

Connie wrote

2009-05-25T08:20:00.000-07:00

My Life As A Kid

My name is Constance Mondlane. I am 9 years old. I was born on 11 June 2000. My father is Solomon Mondlane.

I would like to share my life story so far because it pains me.At 9 and in grade 3, I have already attended in 9 schools and in 3 different countries.

Since my father and my biological mother seperated, I have moved up and down with my father and staying in different families and attending in new school each time we re allocate.

I have been to Mozambique, Swaziland and in South Africa, I have been to Kwa Ndebele, Hamanskraal, Pretoria and now Johannesburg.Each time I move to a new place i'm introduced to a new language.

I have attended model c schools, semi rural schools and rural schools.Inspite of all that, i have never disappointed my father.
I have always come top in my class.I love my father and I know he wants the best for me. He is going through hard time, but he always make sure that i get a safe place to stay and to learn.

Schools I attended;-A Primary School in Mamelodi-Greenwood College in Pretoria-Burger Right Primary in Pretoria-Langa Libalele in Kwa-Mhlanga-Another Primary in KwaMhlanga-A Primary School in Matola, Mozambique-John Wesley Primary In Swaziland-Molefe Mooke Primary In Dilopye, Hamanskraal-Now I'm at Meyerton Primary in Henly, Johannesburg.

Thanks.

Dear Connie

2009-05-19T04:23:00.000-07:00

You are the love of my heart. You are my strength. Every time I look at you, I feel the joy in me. 9 years ago when you were born you brought joy in my life.

I pray that you grow and become a big girl, a big sister and a mama. I pray that you may become an exemplary and a role model to your little sisters, Tracy and Nanette.

COUNTDOWN To Connie’s Birthday

2009-05-11T06:48:00.000-07:00

11 June 2009, my first born will be turning 9. It is 30 days before that day, now. Join me as I share the good and sad stories during my walk with my baby girl. I love Connie and she is an amazing girl.

KIDS FOR CHRIST MERCY CENTRE

2009-05-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

Let us give them love

Taking care of our future, the KIDS

This used to be the Bible College for the United Apostolic Faith Church. It had been converted to a KIDS CENTRE

This is where the KIDS will be served with love. We will provide food, medical care, accommodation, bible lessons and pre school education

Ready to be used to serve the KIDS

On 09 May 2009, the community of Soshanguve had been invited to a KFC-Child Sponsorship program presentation which will begin at 09h00.The primary schools had also been invited to identify needy kids within the area. This programme seeks to help children in need.

These children must be:

Orphans

Raised by struggling parents

Raised by grandparents

Raised by struggling single parents

Raised by guardians, etc.

The KIDS FOR CHRIST MERCY CENTRE will provide:FoodMedical attentionSafe environment to playAccommodation to the orphansPre-school educationThe word of God so that they may experience the love of Jesus

JUST CLICK BELOW AND WATCH THE VIDEO. ASK YOURSELF WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR THE COMMUNITY:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NlyZqJhwk&feature=player_embedded

Please send me an email on how you feel after watching this video at:

westsidechristian@webmail.co.za or at: pastormabundam@uafctshwane.org.za

YOU CAN DO SOMETHING FOR THE NEEDY CHILD OUT THERE!!!

Serve with Love

Good evening. Today I want to share with you a story about two missionaries from USA to South Africa. The first Missionary came to South Africa and was placed in the rural area. He was loving and kind. He could sacrifice anything for the sake of the people.

People loved him. People supported him. He will find solution to any problem, because he worked with the people; He listened to their complaints.

The time came for him to leave South Africa.

The second one came. He was not so kind. He did not work with the people. He will decide and tell people to do whatever he has decided. People could not support him.

Seeing that people were not supportive; he called a meeting and he decided to preach to them about the love of Jesus Christ.

When he finished, they said to him. “We know who Jesus is. We have worked with him. He was loving and kind”

This bothers the Missionary and he wanted to know who was that Jesus they were talking about. He discovered that it was the first Missionary.

This was a challenge to him. It is also a challenge to us who had been called to serve the people. We need to serve whole heartedly; with love for we are God’s ambassadors. We represent Christ.

People see God in us and God will bless you.

You can watch from your tube by clicking below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Se9JRz3UVw

RISING UP-IN SPITE OF (RISING UP-REGARDLESS OF)

2009-05-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

(Doing it Afraid)

Rising up in spite of:
· A threatening disease in you life
· Bad things said about you, all the negative staff.
· Poverty
· The bad SA economy
· Jobless
· Neglected by friends and family
· Hurt in your life
· Discouragement from people

And Marching to do all these things you are afraid to do

Doing those things while you are afraid;
· While you are afraid of failure
· While you are afraid of being laughed
· While you are afraid of the unforeseen situations

Luke 15: 11-24

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons.

12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there he squandered his wealth in wild living.

14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need.

15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs.

16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anyting.

17 When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!

18 I will arise and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.

19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.

20 So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But his father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

23 “‘Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate.

24 “‘For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So the began to celebrate.”

Do it Afraid

Ezra 10 :1- 4

1 While Ezra was praying and confessing, weeping and throwing himself down before the house of the Lord, a large crowd of Israelites-men, women and children-gathered around him. They too wept bitterly.

2 Then Shecaniah son of Jehiel, one of the descendants o Elam, said to Ezra, “We have been unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women from the peoples around. But in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel.

3 Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children, in accordance with the counsel of my lord and those who fear the commands of our God. Let it be done according to the Law.
4 “Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.”

· We fail to rise because of certain issues in our lives.
· We are controlled by fear.

Take courage, this issue is yours. Get into it while you are afraid and in the house of the Lord you will get support.

· Let no one stop you from achieving your dreams.
· May be you have started something and gave up on the way; it is time for you to stand up and do it regardless of any situation that is blocking you.

Examples
· Elijah with 450 prophets Baal (meeting at mount Caermel: 1 Kings 18:16 -39)

· Daniel in the den of lions after failure to worship Darius god for 30 days. (Daniel 6)

· Meshach, Abednego and Shadrach denied to worship Nebuchadnezzar’s gold statue (Daniel 3:1-27)

· Job (Job could not curse his God in spite of his situation)

Happy Birthday Nanette

2009-05-02T06:13:00.000-07:00

Click below to view the video clips:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTh7wnE2U3M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRA--6hUUaI&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iatI9CY9cMU&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwNGhqBPYBI&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXrPJ20eKPQ&feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhpnfvR-GMw&feature=channel_page

My wish to you baby is to grow fearing God. May God bless you.

WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED ON THIS DAY OF 30 APRIL 2008

2009-04-29T02:19:00.000-07:00

Big Girl

Nanette wa Papa

365 days ago

At 3 am in the morning, Precious woke up and start complaining about stomach disorder. I asked her, ‘Is it a normal stomach ache or it’s something new to you.’

“No Solomon, It’s not normal”. She said.

‘You want to give birth.’ I said while pulling the blanket and returning to my sleep. There were the 2 of us in the room.

At 5 am, she woke me up again. I told her that she is about to give birth and there was no need to panic.

I watched her pulling me and calling her mother’s name who was 550 km away from Maputo.

Whenever she wanted to go to the bathroom she would pull me around.

When it was 7am I helped her bath, then my friend came with his car. We took Precious to the nearest hospital which was 4-5 minutes drive.

It was about 8am when I left Precious at the Chamanculo Hospital.

Within an hour I received a call that she has a baby girl already. I was happy, very happy.

Strange enough, I came with all my baby clothes we bought and her bathing basin. People looked and laughed at me as I marched to hospital in a happy mood carrying the baby basin and many baby clothes.

I and Precious took care of our child without any help from anybody while she was very young. We learnt to bath her, feed her, dress her and we monitored her, changing from one stage to another.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANETTE. WE LOVE YOU.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANETTE
From Mama

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANETTE
From Tracy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANETTE
From Connie

Nanette @ age 1

2009-04-17T01:43:00.000-07:00

Dad and daughter

Nanette

Precious with her baby girl, Nanette

Nanette giving her own instructions

Teething Nanette

Footage

Nanette was born 30 April 2008 in Chamanculo hospital, Maputo Mozambique.

Nanette means "The Gracious One" in Latin.

Named after my ex-workmate where I use to work in Johannesburg. Sarah is her other name. Named after her grandmother.

At 1 year old Nanette is:

(10 things she does the best)

teething
walking
able to say dad
able to say mama
identify people close to her
able to beg for something to eat
can read non-verbal sign language
able to call a dog using a certain sound
can dance to a song
can jump

Easter Convention

2009-04-14T07:43:00.000-07:00

Precious was there

She was there, believe it.

I was there with Nanette

Precious always

Tracy also joined in

It was a great long weekend. Our church, the Westside Christian Fellowship Assembly had gathered at Altelekker, just around Pretoria to celebrate the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. We were joined by other branches from Tshwane and Gauteng district.

The Mondlane's were part of the gathering. It was great. I mean very great.

More pictures and video clips visit: http://www.pastormabunda.blogspot.com/

Click below and watch the proceedings:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7NJsatYOIU&feature=channel_page

Jesus Really Loves Me - You are a blessing Nanie

2009-04-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

My Little girl

Jesus Really loves me

Steve Israel

Verse 1)
You were singing little songs to Jesus
When you weren't even two years old
I still remember the night at a party
You pulled a string on a singing doll
As it started to sing, "Jesus Loves Me"
I almost fell out of my chair
When right on cue you sang it too
Thought I heard two little angels there
But this I know...

(Chorus)
Jesus really loves me
For He gave me my little girl
Jesus really loves me
She's the sweetest gift in this world

(Verse 2)
On the day we welcomed your arrival
I was so overjoyed I cried
Now in the blink of an eye you are grown up
Where did time get its wings to fly?
As he placed the ring on your finger
I almost fell out of my chair
When right on cue you said, "I do"
Think I left my heart in pieces there
But this I know...

(Chorus)
Jesus really loves me
For He gave me my little girl
Jesus really loves me
She's the sweetest gift in this world

(Bridge)
Yes, I know my Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so its true
But so do her eyes whenever she smiles
And says, "Daddy, I love you."

(Chorus)
Jesus really loves me
For He gave me my little girl
Jesus really loves me
She's the sweetest gift in this world

(Ending)
You were singing little songs to Jesus
When you weren't even two years old

Visit the following site to play the song;

http://songsofpraise.org/song.php?songid=364

The Miracle Child-Baby Nanette

2009-04-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sisters in hands; Nanette with Tracy

Nanette

Precious and Baby Nanette

Click below to watch the grown Nanette:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oS7WVpRDa3A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dkwRn2B_eI

The Miracle Child

Hardly a month after the birth of baby Nanette, we moved as a family to stay in Mbabane Swaziland.

We lived in Mbabane. When Nanette was 3 months old, she was attacked by cholera. This disease had been killing children left, right and centre.

I remember, I and Precious were surrounded by nurses in Mbabane Government Hospital, telling us that ; Nanette will not live to see the next day.

Precious was crying like a small baby, and I was holding Nanette. I told Precious one sentence. “Baby, Lift up your eyes to the hills; that’s where our help comes from.”

I was shivering while holding the little helpless Nanette. One Doctor called us to his office. He gave us salt and sugar mixture and warned us not to sleep, but to feed the baby until morning.

We left. On arrival we started spoon feeding Nanette as the Doctor have said. We sang praises to God and prayed. No one slept or dozed that night.

Towards morning, Nanette looked much better. Early in the morning we took her to hospital and the Doctor assured us that she was okay. He gave us medicine. Since then, Nanette has never been sick.

Thank you Jesus. Nanette is growing.